repentance

Where God Has Forgotten

~ Observant Servant ~ Leave a comment

There have been moments in my life where I have truly missed it… not just lightly, but in ways that came from deep places of pain, frustration, and woundedness. In those moments, I have spoken in ways that did not honor those God placed above me. When the weight of it settled in, I knew. I needed to humble myself.

So I did.

I went back. I repented to them, and I repented before the Lord. But truthfully, walking out repentance is not always simple. Sometimes it lingers. Sometimes it feels like the moment keeps echoing long after you’ve laid it down. You feel watched, waiting for the next slip up. If possible, enemy will even take every chance to poke and prod you into more places of pain to make that walk all the more difficult. He delights in your failure and whispers how much of a disappointment you are when it happens.

Over the past few days, I have spent time in prayer and fasting, bringing this before the Lord again and again. Not because I wanted to stay in shame, but because I genuinely desired to be right in His sight. I wanted to change. Yet there was this quiet struggle in my heart… a feeling that I hadn’t truly been forgiven. I had to prove myself.

Then today, in the middle of what felt like endless driving, the Lord met me in such a gentle way.

Right as I was arriving home, I felt His Spirit whisper to my heart: “Audience of One.”

It settled everything.

He reminded me that while I am called to humble myself before others and seek reconciliation, I cannot control whether someone chooses to forgive me. That part belongs to them. What matters is that I humbled myself, that I obeyed, that I came low before Him.

In that place, His forgiveness is not partial. It is not hesitant. It is complete.

I was taken back to the early days of my salvation, when the weight of my past felt overwhelming. I remember feeling like I needed to account for every single sin, as if I had to earn my way back into right standing. The enemy pressed hard with that lie.

But the Holy Spirit spoke something so freeing.. that my sins were cast away, removed, no longer held against me.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” — Psalm 103:12

“You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” — Micah 7:19

That is the kindness of God. That is the freedom found in His mercy and grace.

Repentance is not meant to trap us in a cycle of condemnation. It is meant to bring us back into alignment with Him. Once we have truly repented, we are invited to walk forward in humility… not constantly looking backward in shame.

There may be times when others remember what God has already forgiven. There may be moments when it is brought up again, or held against us. But I am learning that I cannot live bound to what God has already released me from. If He says I am forgiven, then that’s it. It is done.

The enemy accuses. He revisits. He replays. He wants you to never live it down. He delights in seeing you broken and hurting. He will drag it out for years if possible keeping you trapped in chains of shame and condemnation.

But God forgives and restores. That’s is why we have joy. It is because HE has forgiven us. The enemy wants you to forget that.

I choose to stay low before Him, to keep my heart soft, to remain teachable… and to trust that He alone sees the full posture of my heart.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” — 1 John 1:9

Only God truly sees the heart. His mercy is deeper than my failure.

Father, I come before You with a humble heart. Thank You for Your mercy that meets me even in my weakness. Thank You that when I repent, You are faithful to forgive and to cleanse. Teach me to walk in true humility, not in shame, but in surrender. Help me to release the need for man’s approval and rest fully in Your grace. Guard my heart from condemnation, and anchor me in the truth of Your love. Let my life reflect a heart that is continually yielded to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Sea of Forgetfulness

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The Illusion of Safety

~ Observant Servant ~ 1 Comment

There are moments when we feel safe simply because everything around us looks calm.

Nothing pressing. Nothing obvious. Nothing threatening.

Yet, Scripture reminds us that not all danger announces itself.

Sometimes it is hidden… quiet… waiting.

That’s what makes presumption so dangerous. It doesn’t feel like rebellion. It feels like ease. Like familiarity. Like confidence that slowly drifts into carelessness.

There have been seasons in my life where everything felt calm. Nothing pressing. Nothing obvious. Nothing threatening. And in that calm, I drifted. Not into obvious sin, but into quiet neglect. Prayer became shorter. Discernment became duller. I stopped asking the Lord before stepping into conversations, decisions, and situations. I assumed I was safe.

But safety without vigilance is not safety at all.

The battlefield does not disappear simply because I’ve grown familiar with it. The enemy does not retreat simply because I carry the name “Christian.” If anything, Scripture calls me deeper into awareness, not away from it. This life was never meant to be lived casually. It was meant to be lived watchfully… prayerfully… dependent.

I was reminded of this through a line that stayed with me:

“The error of ‘assumption’ or ‘presumption’ on a field of battle is catastrophic! Walking casually down a city street where it is ‘presumed’ there are no more enemy insurgents is often a regrettable choice. Similarly, it would be an exceptionally regrettable choice to ‘presume’ that simply because we bear the name ‘Christian’ we can stroll in oblivion through enemy-held territory unscathed.” — Jamie Walden, Omega Dynamics

That truth settles deep.

Spiritually, we are not walking through neutral ground. We are walking through enemy territory that requires awareness… dependence… and discernment. The danger is not always in what I can see. Sometimes it is in what I assume is no longer there.

David understood this tension. He had walked closely with God, seen His faithfulness, known His presence. And yet, he still prayed:

“Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless and innocent of great transgression.” — Psalm 19:13

That prayer humbles me.

It reminds me that even a heart that loves God can drift if it is not continually yielded. That I am not above blind spots. That I am not immune to subtle compromise. Presumption says, “I’m fine.” Humility says, “Lord, keep me.”

There is a difference between confidence in God and carelessness in His presence. True confidence draws me closer. It keeps me listening. It keeps me dependent. Presumption distances me. It assumes I already know, already see, already understand.

But I don’t.

I don’t want to walk through enemy territory with my guard down, assuming I won’t be touched. I don’t want to rely on yesterday’s obedience to carry me through today’s battles. I don’t want to confuse familiarity with faithfulness.

What I want is to remain aware. That is the posture I want to carry.

I want to walk with a quiet sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, to pause when He nudges, to pray before I proceed and to stay teachable, even in places I think I’ve already mastered.

The safest place is not where I feel strongest. It is where I remain most dependent.

Maybe that is the invitation hidden in all of this… not to live in fear of the battlefield, but to live in constant awareness of the One who walks with me through it. To trade presumption for surrender. To trade assumption for attentiveness. To trade casual steps for intentional ones.
The illusion of safety is often where vigilance fades.

I don’t want to walk casually through places where I should be prayerful. I don’t want to rely on yesterday’s strength for today’s battle.

I want to stay close. Listening. Aware. Led.

Lord, keep me from the quiet drift into presumption. Where I have grown casual, awaken me again. Teach me to walk watchfully, to remain dependent, and to stay close to Your voice. Guard my heart from what I cannot see, and lead me in truth. Let me not mistake familiarity for safety. Keep me near, keep me aware, and keep me faithful. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Illusion of Safety

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Held Back by Mercy

~ Observant Servant

Sometimes a picture captures a truth that words alone struggle to carry. When I first saw the image of the dam holding back an overwhelming flood, it immediately reminded me of something Scripture quietly but clearly teaches: the patience of God is real, and it is holding something back.

Not because God is weak. Not because sin does not matter.

But because He is patient.

There is a tendency in our time to avoid speaking about God’s wrath. Yet Scripture never hides it. God is holy, and holiness cannot simply overlook sin. The Bible says, “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness.” — Romans 1:18 (KJV)

That reality can feel heavy, but it is not written to terrify us without hope. It is written to bring us into truth. God’s justice is real, but so is His mercy. The reason judgment has not yet fallen is not because God has forgotten the world. It is because He is patient with it.

Scripture explains this beautifully: “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” — 2 Peter 3:9 (KJV)

When I think about that verse, the image of the dam makes more sense. Humanity continues building its lives, making plans, raising families, and pursuing dreams, often without a second thought about God. Yet behind the scenes, something unseen is happening. God’s patience is holding back what justice would otherwise bring.

But patience should never be mistaken for approval. Scripture gently but honestly reminds us: “But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.” — Romans 2:5 (KJV)

Each day a person turns away from God, they are not escaping truth; they are simply postponing their encounter with it.

And yet this is where the heart of the gospel shines the brightest. The story does not end with judgment. God did something extraordinary so that judgment would not have the final word.

He sent His Son.

Jesus did not come merely to teach moral lessons or inspire people to live better lives. He came to carry what we could not. At the cross, the justice of God and the mercy of God met together. Christ took upon Himself the penalty that belonged to us.

Scripture says it plainly: “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.” — John 3:36 (KJV)

The dam of God’s patience is not meant to give us confidence to ignore Him. It is meant to give us time to come to Him.

There is still time. That is the quiet miracle of today.

“Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near.” — Isaiah 55:6 (KJV)

Salvation is not earned through effort or moral improvement. It is received through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone. Anyone who turns to Him in humility will find mercy waiting.

And that is the good news worth sharing gently, honestly, and in love.

Lord Jesus,

I come before You honestly and humbly. I confess that I have sinned and have not lived according to Your truth. I ask You to forgive me. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and rose again so that I could have life. Please cleanse my heart, change my life, and help me follow You. I turn away from my sin and place my trust in You alone for salvation.

Thank You for Your mercy, Your patience, and Your grace. Amen.

Are There Fruit Flies in Your Spiritual Fruit?

~ Observant Servant

There was a bowl of fruit sitting on the counter the other morning. Nothing special about it at first glance. Just apples, a peach, a few berries. But when I walked past it later in the day, I noticed the small, familiar swirl of fruit flies hovering above it.

Not many. Just enough to tell me something had begun to turn.

Fruit flies are strange little creatures. They do not show up when fruit is healthy and whole. They are drawn to what has started to decay, even if the change is barely visible from the outside.

That small moment stayed with me longer than I expected. It made me stop and quietly ask the Lord a question I don’t ask often enough.

Are there fruit flies in my spiritual fruit?

Jesus said, “Ye shall know them by their fruits.” — Matthew 7:16

Not by our words. Not by our intentions. Not by how busy we are doing good things. By our fruit.

And Paul describes that fruit so clearly in Galatians:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” — Galatians 5:22–23

When the Spirit of God is cultivating a life, those qualities begin to grow quietly and steadily. Love that is patient. Peace that is not shaken by every storm. Gentleness toward people who do not always deserve it. Self-control when emotions would rather take over.

But if I am honest, there have been seasons when the fruit in my own life looked good from a distance while something small inside had already started to turn.

Sometimes tainted spiritual fruit does not look dramatic.

It can look like serving faithfully while quietly carrying resentment toward someone.

It can look like speaking truth, but without tenderness.

It can look like continuing in ministry while patience with people begins to thin.

Sometimes it shows up when we care more about being right than we do about someone being restored. Sometimes it appears when joy slowly drains out of our obedience and what remains is duty.

And sometimes the fruit flies gather around something even more subtle. A small place of pride. A hidden offense we never released. A weariness that hardened into cynicism.

These things do not always appear overnight. They arrive quietly, like those tiny flies circling unnoticed until the heart pauses long enough to see them.

But the Lord is a gentle gardener. He does not reveal these things to condemn us. He reveals them because He loves healthy fruit.

Jesus said, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: he that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” — John 15:5

The answer is not striving harder to manufacture better fruit. It is returning to the Vine. Staying close enough to Jesus that His life flows through ours again.

When we do, the Spirit begins quietly restoring what has begun to spoil. Love softens the places that hardened. Peace returns where anxiety tried to settle. Patience grows again where frustration had taken root.

David prayed something I find myself praying more often lately:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” — Psalm 139:23–24

It is a humble prayer. A brave one too.

Because it asks the Lord to show us what we might rather ignore. But the beautiful thing about walking with God is that He never exposes decay without offering restoration. He is always ready to prune, cleanse, and renew.

And sometimes the most honest step forward is simply pausing long enough to ask:

Lord, is there anything in my fruit that needs Your touch again?

Lord,

Search my heart and examine the fruit of my life. If there are places where love has grown cold, where pride has quietly taken root, or where bitterness has begun to spoil what You planted, please show me gently. I do not want to carry fruit that misrepresents Your Spirit.

Cleanse what needs cleansing. Prune what needs pruning. Restore the tenderness of heart that reflects You.

Help me remain close to the Vine so that the fruit of my life carries Your love, Your peace, and Your humility. Let my life nourish others rather than repel them.

Thank You for being a patient gardener who never gives up on the branches that belong to You.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

spiritual fruit flies

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