Deliverance

Baptism Do-over

~ Observant Servant

Growing up I had been baptized a couple times as a teen. But I just did it because I was in a group of kids who were doing it. It was “the cool thing” to do as part of a youth group. The parents lined us all up and like ducks in a row and one by one we marched up one side of the baptismal, got dunked, and exited the opposite side in front of the congregation. I didn’t remember anything else about it other than getting a free t-shirt afterward.

Fast forward to December 2020, I had it on my heart to get baptized for real this time. However I had much anxiety about the prospect of it. I was in love with Jesus and I was fully aware the meaning behind it. However, as the days led up to it, I had no excitement. I was losing sleep and being plagued with panic attacks.

December 13, 2020 I stood in on the stairs to the baptismal shaking from intense fear as the announcements were read at the church. Waves of dizziness washed over me and I had nearly passed out at least twice. Were it not for the white-knuckled vice-like grip I had on the hand rail, I would have fallen down the stairs. As they announced my name, I entered the baptismal, trembling in fear. My expectation was that it would be washed away when I came up from the water. However, to my dismay, after being dunked, I found I was still unable to escape the fear. I felt ashamed and confused. I didn’t understand.

Where was the joy? Where was the freedom I witnessed others experience during this public commitment to Christ? Why didn’t I have it? Was I broken? Was there something wrong with me?

I left church feeling like I had lost something though I couldn’t put my finger on it. In the days to weeks that had followed, the more I replayed the day in my mind, the more depressed I became. I imagined Father and the angels had watched me that day with expressionless faces.

I continued to think on this a lot through the following years. I had attended other baptisms and witnessed the joy and joined in the celebration of others as they made their public announcement to dedicate their lives to our Lord and Savior. Each time I felt more confused as to why I didn’t have that experience and my depression grew due to my lack of understanding. Eventually I didn’t want to be a part of these celebrations anymore.

Then yesterday I was at the Carter’s and it was announced that Charlie was going to be baptized. My initial thought was to just leave because I didn’t want to be reminded of my own perceived failed baptism again. But I didn’t want to be rude or offend anyone so I stayed. As he and his wife were baptized, I witnessed the peace and joy that fell over them and again my confusion about my experience rolled around in my head. I was happy for both of them but inside my heart was longing for the same experience. And when Bro Mike joyfully asked “who’s next?” the desire hit my heart but I kept my silence. I was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and had not brought a change of clothes.

As Bro Mike looked at each person for takers, the Lord reminded me of Acts 8:26-39 when Philip had baptized the eunuch on the road. Water was available and he had seized the opportunity.

When Bro Mike’s eyes landed on me, I felt the familiar fear rise up in me again. I also felt waves of shame and humiliation that I even needed it again. Thoughts filled my head in rapid succession. “I was on the ministry team. I should have it together. I was going to look foolish. I’ll lose respect.” The enemy bombarded my mind using my voice.

Initially I declined. Again, I wasn’t prepared. I had no change of clothes and I’m not exactly at a size where I could just borrow some. But then I was reminded again to seize the opportunity. So I shoved the thoughts out of my mind in determination and hope that this time would be different.

As I stepped into the pool, I felt the fear manifest again. I almost started to cry. Two steps in I felt myself hesitate. The thoughts started coming. “Was I really going to put myself through this torment again?” But I recognized these were not my thoughts.

I felt my body stiffen as I was lead into the pool. I was trying to keep from shaking. I didn’t want the fear I was feeling to show. Bro Mike instructed me to relax and when I did, the fear that had been hiding rose up. I felt the terror and it wanted to get out of the pool. As they did a prayer of deliverance my entire body started shaking and I started crying thinking “oh no, not again”. I wanted to be free of this fear so badly. I kept thinking “Lord please help me”.

There was a point where I did lose control and the fear demon tried to bolt bolt in an attempt to get me out but gratefully, both Mikes had a tight hold on me and kept it from happening.

It was a battle but when it finally left, I knew for a fact it was gone. I felt it lift off me. So on June 22, 2024, this time when I went under, I felt the joy that I had been missing. I felt the peace of God and it stayed with me. 🙌🏻❤️

Deliverance is such an integral part of the Christian walk. When I was baptized before, I didn’t know anything about deliverance. The church didn’t practice it and though I was fully committed to Christ, I was still in torment. It was an angry strongman of fear that was manifesting during that baptism but because the church was unaware, it was not recognized as the issue. The enemy has tricked Christians into believing that anxiety, fear, and depression are merely mental illnesses. In reality, they are demonic entities that have taken up residence.

📖 Hosea 4:6 says “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..”

I am living proof. Despite being saved, despite having a deep love for God, despite being born again, I was being destroyed by the enemy because I did not know how to deal with him. And neither did anyone around me.

I praise God for setting me free. 🙌🏻

Demons and Deliverance

~ Observant Servant

There’s a portion of my testimony I don’t talk about much and that portion has to do with how badly demons were tormenting me. How terrified I was. I became paranoid. Confused. Thought I was losing my mind. The first time I admitted to what I went through, I was told by a well-meaning Christian, that it was merely a “mid-life crisis”. After that, I never mentioned the depths of torment that I went through again.

In fact, the only time I have openly admitted to it was when I heard someone else talking about their experience. And at that moment I was in tears because I was so relieved I wasn’t alone in my experience.

Demons are nasty and some of the worst ones are let in when a person becomes involved with the occult. I embraced the occult at a young age while still under my parents roof. My mom had her own past that I only know bits of. I know that she was no “dabbler” but into heavy duty stuff that had serious repercussions down the family line. Even after she became a ‘Christian”, I was still raised watching shows like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt on a regular basis. Add to that everything Disney had to offer and well, there you see my upbringing was soaked in witchcraft.

I turned fully into the occult by the time I was a teen. That went on for 35 years but in reality, it was my entire life.

When I found myself looking in the direction to Christ for answers, the demons in my life suddenly began rearing their ugly heads. Even though I wasn’t drinking or taking drugs, my mental state went on a terrifying downward spiral toward an abyss that I only knew I wanted no part of.

They began ganging up on me with demons in other people. Thoughts would flow through my mind and the people around me would either say exactly what I was thinking or make a comment about my exact thoughts without me saying a word. It was so horrible. I couldn’t escape my mind. It drove me to God.. and when I committed to Christ, it didn’t get better. In fact it got so much worse. Because now I had switched teams. The threats and visions I got were so intense that had I not been where I was at when it happened, I would have taken myself out in an effort to escape.

Christianity is supernatural.
You can’t escape it.
There is a real unseen realm where the most intense wars are fought.
Any Christian who thinks otherwise or thinks they can skate by and avoid it is fooling themselves.
They are blind.

All of that was part of my journey of deliverance. The only thing was I didn’t realize that I was in the process of it. I still had no idea of what I was up against.

As I stated before, becoming a Christian didn’t stop the torment. When I came to Christ through this process, the Holy Spirit was literally all I had. I didn’t own a Bible and I was in a facility that had no books available. In fact there was nothing available other than a tv with super bad reception. I spent (what I later found out was) a week straight in a large “L-shaped” room with about 20-25 other people. Though had you asked me what day it was or even what time of day it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. It felt like I was outside of time and space. I was aware it was passing but mentally I was outside of it, watching it pass. (Again, this was sober – I had no drugs or alcohol in my system and yet I felt like I was trapped riding a terrifying high.)

It was during this time that I began the process of learning how to hear the Holy Spirit. It was a crash-course in spiritual warfare that continued for months even after I made it back home. Initially it was like my mind was downloading all sorts of information. The veil had been pulled from my eyes and I saw the battle for souls. I watched it play out. I had visions of the wins and losses for both sides. Things that I can’t even describe.

While the enemy filled my mind with threats telling me I would never be safe, that I had a target on my back, that they would never leave me alone, cushioning me with more and more fear, the Holy Spirit would make His presence known to me, promising me that I would be kept safe just as long as I would believe and trust Him. While the enemy would manifest in the people around me and they would talk amongst themselves making their plans against me within earshot, I would pray to walk by them unseen and be amazed when those same people would pass me by as if I was invisible.

When I finally got my hands on the Bible, I began to devour it. After a particularly heavy spiritual attack one night (I was seeing demons manifest themselves outside my bedroom window) I cried out to God for several hours in prayer. I awoke the next morning with the word “Ephesians” on my heart and I began the process of learning who I was in Christ. Slowly my mind became clear. I was still being tormented but I was finally able to function mentally. I believe this was the Holy Spirit showing me how to renew my mind. I stopped seeing spirits and I began to attend church and I felt like my battle was over for the most part.

Or so I thought.

I found a church that did outreach. They had sound doctrine and were really nice people. I shared with them the spiritual side of my journey and their response was one of disbelief. It was nothing like they had ever been through so they couldn’t relate it seemed. They never really talked about the spiritual realm to a level that I seemed to have lived through.

After that, I kept things to myself. I was still suffering. I had major depression. I still had a lot of anxiety and although the urge to end my life was no longer there, intrusive thoughts would come at random. Even on my good days where I truly felt blessed by God. The most common thought I had on a regular basis was a vision of me stabbing myself in my throat. I didn’t know why.

I was often questioned as to why I didn’t have the joy of the Lord and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t know that I was still in a battle. I would read the Bible, go to church, worship, pray, share the Gospel and yet I was still in chains. I wasn’t growing fast enough, praying hard enough, doing enough… These thoughts came into my mind and were echoed and pointed out by those around me.

As humans, even the best of us fall short. The enemy doesn’t fight fair and shortly after that I found myself isolated, completely rejected, and curled up in my closet sobbing from the depths of my heart begging God for mercy because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and when my first church family pushed me away, I thought God had abandoned me.

That I was a hopeless cause and a wasted effort.

Then I felt “John 6:37” in my heart.

“All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never turn away.”

I clung to this scripture, repeating it over and over to myself. I was in a state of desperation.

The next day, I got a message that told me to look into Hardcore Christianity.

Looking at the name, the thought came into my mind that this was where they send the toughest cases. The delinquents. The “rebellious individuals who refuse to surrender. A boot camp for the worst of the worst Christians who fail at being a Christian. Like when parents send their kids off to military school to “straighten them out”. I had no idea what to expect. Even after reading the information on the site I was still terrified. But I wanted so desperately to be fixed.

It was only after I watched a teaching by Mike Smith that I came to the full realization that I was still under attack. That all the thoughts I had were not my own. That there were still demons at work inside me and around me. That I wasn’t free. That they had been using both those around me and my own thoughts to skillfully orchestrate my destruction. That the images and thoughts I was having were not me but those of a completely separate entity inside me. Multiple ones at that.

It has been a process, dealing with the layers upon layers of spirits. One of the most important things is mind renewal. This is also a constant thing. An area that you can not, MUST NOT, become complacent in. Lack of mind renewal is like cracks in your armor. You MUST renew your mind and continue to do so. If you do not, the enemy will eat you up and spit you out. The demons will come back like bad relationships. You must get rid of your sin. Learn to hate your sin. Ask God to help you hate your sin.

Deliverance is a journey. The best news is that God is helping you through it. If you are born again, you have the Holy Spirit and you cannot lose.

If you suffer from anything like I have posted above, There is hope!!

Please contact mike@hardcorechristianity.com

https://hardcorechristianity.com/arizona-deliverance-center/

Symptoms of Demonic Operation in a Person

~ Observant Servant ~ 1 Comment

One major item of debate in Christianity is whether or not a born-again Christian can have demons. Fact of the matter is, the Bible does not specifically say that a Christian cannot be infected with demons. However there are several instances in Scripture showing that a person can be infected with them. I have personally been prayed for and received healing through deliverance and it has changed my life. I am so grateful to God for this. Learning about this has helped change my perspective of the world around me. This understanding has helped me to forgive others (and myself). Here is a breakdown of some of the symptoms that a person (even Christians) can be dealing with demons spiritually.

haunted

“They came to the [a]other side of the sea, to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, immediately a man from the tombs with an unclean spirit met Him, and the man lived in the [b]tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with chains. For he had often been bound with shackles [for the feet] and with chains, and he tore apart the chains and broke the shackles into pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue and tame him. Night and day he was constantly screaming and shrieking among the tombs and on the mountains, and cutting himself with [sharp] stones.

Mark 5:1-5 AMP

Incapacity for normal living –
Mark 5:1-5

Just as the actions of Legion made the man unsuitable for normal social interactions with friends and family, an unusual desire for solitude, accompanied by deep loneliness, will often set in.The person will often become very passive with no desire to change.

Extreme behavior-
Mark 5:4

“For he had often been bound with shackles [for the feet] and with chains, and he tore apart the chains and broke the shackles into pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue and tame him.”

Violence will often be evident in the victims life. An explosive temper and extreme, uncontrollable anger are dangerous behaviors that control the individual and the people who love him or her.

Personality changes-
Mark 5:9 & 12

“He was asking him, “What is your name?” And he replied, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” … “And the demons begged Him, saying, “Send us to the pigs so that we may go into them!”

Multiple personalities exist in some of the most serious cases of demonic control. This man had a ‘legion’ of spirits within his life. All cases of multiple personality are demonic. Changes in personality, extreme or mild, is evidence of demonic activity.

Restlessness and Insomnia
Mark 5:5

” Night and day he was constantly screaming and shrieking among the tombs and on the mountains, and cutting himself with [sharp] stones.”

In verse 5, we see this man crying in the tombs “night and day”. He could not sleep. Insomnia can be a sign of a physical problem or a sign of a spiritual problem. God has gifted His children with sleep.

It is vain for you to rise up early, to take rest late, to eat the bread of [anxious] toil–for He gives [blessings] to His beloved in sleep.” (Psalm 127:2)

So when you cannot sleep night after night and there is no medical reason for this disturbance, the devil may be tormenting you. Don’t forget, you have the right to rest in Jesus!

A terrible inner anguish
Mark 5:5

This man was deeply tormented in mind and heart. Various levels of anguish are evident in those who are afflicted by demons. Grief and anguish are normal emotions for us all. Yet persistent, unresolved anguish that will not leave after normal therapies of counseling, encouragement and prayer could well be demonic.

Self inflicted injury and suicide
Mark 5:5

Here we see the demonic man cutting himself. If you read Mark 9:14-29, you will see the story of a man whose son was both deaf and mute because of a demon: “wherever it [the evil spirit] seizes him, it throws him down… Often he [the demon] has thrown him [the boy] into fire and and into the water to destroy him” (vs 18, 22) Jesus cast out the demon: “the spirit cried out, convulsed him [the boy] greatly, and came out of him.

If you or someone you know are struggling with any of these symptoms, I invite you to email mike@hardcorechristianity.com for a counseling appointment. Appointments are always free for born-again believers. They can be done via phone, zoom, or in-person. Please also visit HardCoreChristianity.com for more information, teachings and videos. This Ministry has helped me and many others immensely in my walk with Christ.

God’s Gift of Hate

~ Observant Servant

When I became a Christian, my circle of secular friends was completely uprooted and replaced with Christian friends.

For me, that was to be expected.

When I started going through and talking about deliverance, my circle of Christian friends shrunk considerably and some of the very same Christian friends suddenly didn’t feel comfortable around me anymore. They didn’t want to talk to me. Conversations with many of these believers suddenly became awkward and there was a noticeable level of avoidance.

I didn’t expect that.

One thing I will say, this is worth the cost. It is well worth the cost to become a disciple of Jesus. And it is absolutely worth the cost to be on the front lines of spiritual warfare.

I was looking at some old notes that I took when I was first born again. I didn’t have a church at the time so all of my learning came from just reading the bible and watching hours and hours of sermons on a daily basis. (I was unemployed so I could do this easily.) I realized from the notes I took that Jesus was trying to show me about deliverance although I didn’t really understand it at the time. And when I did finally get involved with a church, I was warned against watching this particular minister so I stopped because I assumed that they knew best. But I realize now that back then the Holy Spirit was using this minister to show me that I still needed deliverance. The enemy had used Christians to keep me from fighting!

This revelation has fanned a flame inside me.
I realized that I hate the enemy so much for what he tricked me into, for what happened to me at the hands of others before I was saved, and for the way he used Christians to make me question everything after I was born again. I hate that my deliverance was delayed. I hate him with a passion. I hate what I see him doing to other Christians. I hate what I see him doing in to the church and how everywhere I look, churches are compromising to please the masses. I hate what I see him doing to the lost. I hate the way I see him using people to hurt one another. I mean, I have seen it before obviously but I feel like I am seeing it with new eyes and with greater understanding. I am so angry at him. I hate him so much.

This is a righteous hatred. A glorious gift to have in your battle against the enemy. A Godly hate.

“These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him, A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” -Proverbs 6:16-19

It is important to hate the enemy. Hate produces a fight in you. It motivates you. It empowers you. It is a God-given tool against the enemy. If you don’t hate what the enemy is doing to you and has done to you, you are weak. You are a child of King of kings. An heir. A knight in the Lord’s army. A warrior. Pray to the Lord to give you the gift of hate.

Overcoming the Spirit of Fear

~ Observant Servant

Do you find that you avoid certain people, things, or situations? Avoidance is typically considered a maladaptive behavioral response to excessive fear and anxiety. Christ can help you to gain victory over the spirit of fear through deliverance and mind renewal.

When I was first born again, the Lord set me free from many things. Though I didn’t know it at the time, He had been cleansing me of strong spirits left and right. It was a literal 7 day process. All I did during that time was pray. I didn’t even eat and I barely slept. I didn’t even know that I was “fasting” – I just knew in my heart that I should not eat.

 I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know what was happening to my body or why I was going through certain things.

 I didn’t know it was biblical.

“But an evil spirit of this kind is only driven out by prayer and fasting” – Matthew 17:21

I praise God for being set free of the many spirits that I had either willingly or unknowingly let in throughout my life while I was lost. He didn’t cleanse me of everything though. Things were left behind and I believe it was because I was to learn how to fight,how to get them out and keep them out.

A few days after I had gone through this process, I started hearing “threats” in my mind. They would say things like “You’ve got a target on your back. We are coming for you. We will destroy you. You belong to us. We are going to tear you apart.”

Spirits were tormenting me and I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t know what to do. I had no one to talk to because I didn’t know any Christians. I hadn’t even had a chance to find a church yet. I cried all day and asked God to hide me and protect me because I was unequipped and I didn’t know how to fight this onslaught. I did not know how to fight against an enemy that I could not see. The fear I was feeling was intense. I would hide in my apartment because I didn’t want to be out in the open for fear the enemy would use my surroundings to eliminate me.

That night before I went to bed, I cried out to God, begging for an answer. I prayed for over 4 hours straight because I was so desperate. When I woke up the next morning, the word “Ephesians” was in my heart. I didn’t know the Bible but I knew that this word was in the Bible. I’m not even sure if I knew it was a book.

At the time, all I had was a Gideon Bible so I looked it up and found the book of Ephesians.  I read it in its entirety learning what it means to be a Christian, and then I reached Ephesians 6:10-18. I knew that was the answer to my prayer. I knew God was showing me how to be strong and fight back. I didn’t have to live in fear.

I wrote it down. I read it aloud to myself every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed. I memorized it. I lived it. I breathed it. The tormenting voices stopped and I never heard them again.

This process that the Lord took me through was the renewing of my mind. I didn’t know it at the time. Again, I was still a baby Christian barely 2 weeks old in the Lord. The Holy Spirit was guiding me the entire way.

Renewing your mind is essential in being completely set free. When you read the Bible, especially after deliverance, the Holy Spirit builds you up using the promises of God. He leads you and guides you and grows in your inner man/woman. He takes up a greater amount of space so that the enemy can’t penetrate it. If you do not renew your mind, it is not only possible, but probable, that the enemy can find a chink in your armor and come back in and take up residence. And he will bring bigger/stronger friends.

“When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he has come, he findeth it empty, swept and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they eneter in and dwell there: and the last state of the man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.” – Matthew 12:43-45

Remember that God is with you. He wants to help you.

You may struggle with anxiety in interpersonal relationships, or going to the store, or dining alone or driving through big cities. I once struggled through all these things I just listed to a debilitating degree. I even dreaded going to counseling with other Christians because of it.  I still do struggle a little in other areas. It’s a constant battle but I have gotten stronger and you will too!

Remember that God has not given us a spirit of fear.

Anxiety is fear-based. The enemy wants you to feel anxiety. He wants you to be afraid to have tough conversations. He wants you to over-think. He wants you focused on yourself, how you are feeling, and imagining what others are thinking or saying about you because then you are taking your eyes off God.

Trust in God.

Talk to Him.

Repent for giving in to the spirit of fear and the negative thoughts that follow.

Read your Bible and renew your mind.

Your freedom will come through consistency of doing these things.

God bless you.

Healing of the Heart and the Role of Deliverance

~ Observant Servant

One of the biggest things I have struggled with is allowing others to get close to me. Like many of you, there have been severe wounds inflicted on my heart that left deep scars and even more areas that have left my heart raw. Lies, betrayal, abandonment, feelings of worthlessness. For years, most (if not all) of my adult life, my heart bore the weight of this burden. It manifested itself on the outside as well in more ways than one. Sure my attitude could be forced into an appearance of everything being great in my life, but there was a spirit of depression on me.

Yes, Christians can be infested with demonic spirits. I know that there is a lot of controversy surrounding this topic. The thing is, the enemy copies everything of God. We know this. He twists it, he perverts it, he makes as a appealing as possible to the masses and, sadly, fools even the followers of Christ. The subject of the gifts such as the gift of tongues and Deliverance is no exception to this. One must pray for discernment not to be deceived.

The spirit of depression manifested itself through my creativity. My inspiration always came from a wounded heart steeped in rejection and isolation, and if I am being honest, unforgiveness . Art projects reflected dismal, dreary and sometimes even dark scenes. Creative writing while pouring out my heart, always resulted in the saddest of stories. When I would create, the mask would fall away and even the most cheerful colors were laced with scenes of heartache. Repentance and surrender to Christ changes that.

Once I forgave others and myself (you MUST forgive yourself), God began the process of healing my heart. It was often a struggle. Every loving touch hurt. My heart was battered and bruised. It had areas of infection that needed to be cleaned. With any wound, the cleansing process is unpleasant. Sometimes it hurts terribly as the antiseptic is used to wash away all of the infected areas. The process of cleansing the heart is no different. In order for the healing process to be effective, God must cleanse it first. This means exposing unwanted areas. But the Lord God has the most gentle touch and the most loving way to handle tender hearts to make them whole again. The result is feeling so much lighter and freer and experiencing true joy.

God has been working on my heart. As with all healing, it takes time. It is a process. There are times that it took prayer and fasting and there were times it took something stronger. An army of prayer warriors and deliverance.  The most uncomfortable part of it was the exposing of my wounded areas to God and others. Becoming even more vulnerable. Admitting I was still hurting. Being reminded of those painful times in my life that I just wanted to bury and hide away. They had to come out. They had to be exposed. Like any wound, if you just cover it up, infection sets in. So my wounds had to be uncovered in order to be attended to. After prayer and deliverance from the spirits that were haunting me, I felt cleaner. My heart was lighter. My soul could breathe. Jesus set me free. Repentance, forgiveness and deliverance were the method. I am so grateful and I pray that each one of you can experience the love of God through being set free.

Your Christian walk is to be filled with joy despite the circumstances you find yourself in. The only way to have that joy is to surrender to Jesus.