Holy Spirit guidance

Overcoming the Spirit of Fear

~ Observant Servant

Do you find that you avoid certain people, things, or situations? Avoidance is typically considered a maladaptive behavioral response to excessive fear and anxiety. Christ can help you to gain victory over the spirit of fear through deliverance and mind renewal.

When I was first born again, the Lord set me free from many things. Though I didn’t know it at the time, He had been cleansing me of strong spirits left and right. It was a literal 7 day process. All I did during that time was pray. I didn’t even eat and I barely slept. I didn’t even know that I was “fasting” – I just knew in my heart that I should not eat.

 I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t know what was happening to my body or why I was going through certain things.

 I didn’t know it was biblical.

“But an evil spirit of this kind is only driven out by prayer and fasting” – Matthew 17:21

I praise God for being set free of the many spirits that I had either willingly or unknowingly let in throughout my life while I was lost. He didn’t cleanse me of everything though. Things were left behind and I believe it was because I was to learn how to fight,how to get them out and keep them out.

A few days after I had gone through this process, I started hearing “threats” in my mind. They would say things like “You’ve got a target on your back. We are coming for you. We will destroy you. You belong to us. We are going to tear you apart.”

Spirits were tormenting me and I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t know what to do. I had no one to talk to because I didn’t know any Christians. I hadn’t even had a chance to find a church yet. I cried all day and asked God to hide me and protect me because I was unequipped and I didn’t know how to fight this onslaught. I did not know how to fight against an enemy that I could not see. The fear I was feeling was intense. I would hide in my apartment because I didn’t want to be out in the open for fear the enemy would use my surroundings to eliminate me.

That night before I went to bed, I cried out to God, begging for an answer. I prayed for over 4 hours straight because I was so desperate. When I woke up the next morning, the word “Ephesians” was in my heart. I didn’t know the Bible but I knew that this word was in the Bible. I’m not even sure if I knew it was a book.

At the time, all I had was a Gideon Bible so I looked it up and found the book of Ephesians.  I read it in its entirety learning what it means to be a Christian, and then I reached Ephesians 6:10-18. I knew that was the answer to my prayer. I knew God was showing me how to be strong and fight back. I didn’t have to live in fear.

I wrote it down. I read it aloud to myself every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed. I memorized it. I lived it. I breathed it. The tormenting voices stopped and I never heard them again.

This process that the Lord took me through was the renewing of my mind. I didn’t know it at the time. Again, I was still a baby Christian barely 2 weeks old in the Lord. The Holy Spirit was guiding me the entire way.

Renewing your mind is essential in being completely set free. When you read the Bible, especially after deliverance, the Holy Spirit builds you up using the promises of God. He leads you and guides you and grows in your inner man/woman. He takes up a greater amount of space so that the enemy can’t penetrate it. If you do not renew your mind, it is not only possible, but probable, that the enemy can find a chink in your armor and come back in and take up residence. And he will bring bigger/stronger friends.

“When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he has come, he findeth it empty, swept and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they eneter in and dwell there: and the last state of the man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.” – Matthew 12:43-45

Remember that God is with you. He wants to help you.

You may struggle with anxiety in interpersonal relationships, or going to the store, or dining alone or driving through big cities. I once struggled through all these things I just listed to a debilitating degree. I even dreaded going to counseling with other Christians because of it.  I still do struggle a little in other areas. It’s a constant battle but I have gotten stronger and you will too!

Remember that God has not given us a spirit of fear.

Anxiety is fear-based. The enemy wants you to feel anxiety. He wants you to be afraid to have tough conversations. He wants you to over-think. He wants you focused on yourself, how you are feeling, and imagining what others are thinking or saying about you because then you are taking your eyes off God.

Trust in God.

Talk to Him.

Repent for giving in to the spirit of fear and the negative thoughts that follow.

Read your Bible and renew your mind.

Your freedom will come through consistency of doing these things.

God bless you.

Father,

There was a time when fear felt louder than truth, when threats seemed more real than Your promises. If there is still any residue of fear hiding in me — expose it gently and remove it completely. I do not want to live avoiding people, places, or callings You have prepared for me because of torment that no longer has authority.

Lord, thank You for being patient with me when I did not understand what was happening. Thank You for cleansing me even when I didn’t have language for it. Thank You for guiding me when I was spiritually young and unequipped. You never left me alone in the battle.

Teach me to renew my mind daily. Help me not just to experience moments of freedom, but to walk in sustained freedom. Build Your Word so deeply into my heart that there is no empty space for the enemy to occupy. Strengthen the armor around my thoughts. Guard my imagination. Anchor my identity in who You say I am.

When fear whispers, remind me of Ephesians 6 — that I am not powerless, not exposed, not defenseless. Clothe me in truth. Establish me in righteousness. Plant my feet in the gospel of peace. Raise my shield of faith. Protect my mind with salvation. Place the sword of Your Spirit firmly in my hand.

If there are still places in me that need courage, grow it. If there are habits of avoidance that need to be confronted, give me grace to face them. I do not want to shrink back. I want to stand.

Holy Spirit, fill every space that deliverance has made clean. Occupy my thoughts. Govern my emotions. Make my inner life strong and steady. Let Your presence take up so much room in me that darkness finds no place to return.

I belong to You. I trust You. And I choose to walk forward — not hiding, not trembling — but strengthened, protected, and renewed.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

spirit of fear

Send me…

~ Observant Servant

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I; send me!’
Isaiah 6:8

Back in October of last year I felt the need to take a day trip to a place called Montezuma Well. The gentle nudge came when I was looking for some out of town areas to explore. Now granted, in my happening upon this place in a Google search, it seemed to be a bit boring. Plus it was hot out and it’s about a 3 hour drive from where I live. Gas was also around $4.25-4.50 a gallon. So, in my opinion, it wasn’t worth the drive. But I went anyway.

While driving I kept thinking that maybe God wanted me to go there for a reason. So I began to pray about it. As I was getting close, I realized I really needed to get gas. So I asked God to lead me to a place that gas was less than $4. (And if He did this, then I would know that I was in His will in taking this trip.) I was beginning to feel pretty silly about driving so far for nothing spectacular.

Eventually I happened across a small mom and pop station and it had gas for $3.99. I took it as a sign that God was hearing me and pulled in. There was no one around other than a tanker driver who was delivering fuel on the other side of the pump. He was Hispanic burly guy, a little rough looking. He kinda seemed angry and closed off in all honesty. As I was pumping my gas, I noticed he was watching me and I started feeling a bit of fear creep up but I brushed it off and greeted him mentioning something about the weather. I don’t remember what exactly it was I said but he seemed to relax a bit and we had a brief chat.

While I was finishing up and putting my card back in my wallet, I felt I should give him a Gospel tract. (I carry them with me in the form of $1 Million bills.) I offered it to him, asked if he had seen one before. He said “no” and I told him about the real treasure was on the back where it told about Jesus. He just nodded, didn’t really respond.

As he was looking the bill over I said “You know… Jesus, He loves you. He sees you.”

It’s not normally how I initiate conversations when I share the Gospel but my “normal” seemed out of place on this day.

He paused for a moment and when he looked up, he had tears in his eyes. It was like he transformed into a whole different person in front of me. He began to tell me about how he lost his job during the pandemic because he refused to get vax’d. How his wife had left him and took his children and he lost his house and everything else and now he was living in his truck. He told me how he felt so alone and isolated and he had been praying for a sign because he didn’t think he could make it. He was so broken. I couldn’t help but hug him and encourage him to draw nearer to Jesus. We conversed for a bit more then I prayed for him and gave him a Gospel of John. He thanked me, his spirit seemed much lighter and he was smiling.

Then we went our separate ways.

It is so important to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Ready and willing and having your feet shod with the Gospel of peace. One conversation can turn someones life around. I encourage you to pray daily for the Lord to use you. Ask Him to give you an opportunity to bring Jesus into someone’s life. I promise you will be blessed by the encounter.

feet of the Gospel

Stepping out in Faith

~ Observant Servant

A Lesson in Building trust in the Lord

In my first week of knowing the Lord, He asked me if I would work for Him.

I was astonished.

Me? Work for God?

I remember feeling overwhelmed that He would even ask. And that’s exactly what He did. He asked. He did not demand or command as is His right. He asked me.

I babbled “yes, of course! I will do whatever you want, Jesus”. I didn’t know what this job entailed. I just knew that the One who set me free, the One who just saved my life, my heart and my soul, desired me. Despite my past, despite all the sins I had just confessed and begged forgiveness for, (and the sins I could not remember for there were too many to count; but He forgave them ALL.) This – He wanted me to work for Him. After I agreed, He gave me my task.

“Go tell others about me, tell them what I have done.”

It has been over a year since He first spoke those words to me. During that time, whenever I had doubts about if He really wanted me to do this, or doubts in myself as to actually being able to do this, I would pray, asking for confirmation. The enemy was attacking me big time in this manner.

In His faithfulness, patience, endless mercy and grace, He always answered my prayers with His confirmation in various ways.

Four month’s into being a new believer, He led me to a small group that had the same passion to share the Gospel. Once I met them, I knew I had found my new family in Christ. Shortly after meeting them, the pastor sent me a video by Eric Ludy called The Gospel. In the video, I heard nearly the same conversation that I had with Jesus in my heart four months prior. I was blown away. He showed me in dreams that this was my calling and even later He began to show others in their dreams.

 Most recently the enemy caused me to doubt again, but God is so good. He led me to Jeremiah chapter one and gently reminded me of the ways he has orchestrated everything leading up to this point. He continues to lead me and provide for me even this very day. God is great. He is bountiful in His mercy and Grace. His patience is abundant.

I am blessed and honored that the Lord God has given me such a task. I will end this post with these few verses the Lord has put in my heart.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. but truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!” – Psalm 66:16-20

“But you, dress yourself for work, arise and say to them everything that I command you. Do not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them. And I, behold, I make you this day a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls, against the whole land, against kings of Judah, and it’s officials. They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord.” – Jeremiah 1:17-19

                                                        

“And  I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom for I have decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling and my speech and message were not in plausible words of wisdom but in demonstration of the spirit and of power so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” – 1 Corinthians 2:1-5

                                                                                 

Learning to Pray

~ Observant Servant

I’ve noticed something about the way I enter prayer now. Almost without thinking, I begin with gratitude.

Before I ever get to requests, before I remember the list of names in my journal, my heart just starts thanking Him. For breath. For protection through the night. For quiet mercies I would have missed if I wasn’t paying attention. There are mornings when I come to Him with intention — specific needs, specific burdens — and yet I never make it past praise. I simply sit there, overwhelmed by the goodness of God.

The Lord already knows what we need. Jesus said as much. And sometimes I sense that He invites me not first to ask, but to remember. To remember who He is. To remember what He has already done. Thanksgiving steadies my heart. It reminds me that I am not approaching a reluctant God, but a faithful Father.

At the same time, I’ve learned that gratitude is not meant to replace honest desire. There was a season, especially when I was newly born again, when praying for others came so naturally to me. I was surrounded by people who didn’t know Christ, and I had just tasted the depth of His mercy. I wanted everyone to feel that freedom. I would spend long stretches of time pleading for softened hearts, for salvation, for breakthrough in other people’s lives.

But when it came to praying for myself, something in me hesitated.

I already had Jesus. What more could I possibly need?

It felt selfish to ask for anything personal. I would shorten my own prayers. Minimize my own needs. I didn’t want to “take up time,” as if the Creator of heaven and earth were inconvenienced by my voice. Looking back, I can see how subtle that lie was. It sounded humble, but it was actually distance.

What kind of relationship would it be if a child barely spoke their needs to a loving parent? God is not irritated by our desires. He is not exhausted by our requests. He invites them. He shapes them. He sometimes refines them. But He wants them brought into the light.

Scripture says, “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints” (Ephesians 6:18, KJV). That includes praying for the saints. And sometimes, that saint is you.

The enemy will gladly keep you interceding for everyone else while quietly silencing your own heart. He will whisper that your needs are small, or unworthy, or already covered. But recognizing that whisper for what it is changes everything. When I began to see that reluctance as spiritual resistance, something shifted in me. I started bringing my own heart before the Lord with the same earnestness I used for others.

Now my prayer life feels less like a performance and more like a conversation. Some days it is gratitude. Some days it is intercession. Some days it is quiet surrender. And some days it is simply honesty.

Every day is a gift within a gift — another chance to draw near, to work alongside Him, to grow in trust. Even in hard seasons, I can find something to thank Him for. Even in uncertainty, I can bring Him what I lack.

He does not tire of hearing from us.

And I am learning not to tire of coming to Him.