Christianity

When Our Lives Speak

~ Observant Servant

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much our lives communicate without us realizing it.

It’s easy to speak about faith. It’s easy to post a verse, share encouragement, or explain what we believe. But what lingers with people isn’t usually what we say — it’s how we live.

Jesus said, “By their fruits you will know them” (Matthew 7:16).

He didn’t say we would be known by our intentions. Or by how well we articulate truth. He said fruit. Something visible. Something that grows over time. Something others can taste and see.

That humbles me.

Because I know there have been moments when my words were stronger than my actions. Moments when I spoke about patience but responded too quickly. Moments when I spoke about grace but struggled to extend it.

And I’ve also been on the other side — wounded by inconsistency. Hurt by someone who carried the name of Christ but not always His character.

The world already knows hypocrisy. It doesn’t need more of it from us.

When Paul wrote, “Follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1), that feels bold. Almost uncomfortable. To live in such a way that someone could safely imitate you.

But I think that’s the invitation.

Not perfection. Not performance. But alignment.

Alignment between what we proclaim and what we practice.

Jesus warned about causing others to stumble (Matthew 18:6). That isn’t meant to create fear, but awareness. Our lives carry influence whether we want them to or not. The way we handle conflict. The way we apologize. The way we respond when misunderstood. The way we treat people who cannot benefit us.

All of it speaks.

And yet, what comforts me is this: when we fail, restoration is possible.

Peter denied Jesus three times. Publicly. Painfully. But in John 21, Jesus restored him with gentleness. He did not discard him. He drew him close again. Peter’s failure was not the end of his usefulness. It became part of his humility.

That gives me hope.

Because practicing what we preach is not about never stumbling. It is about being willing to repent when we do. To reconcile. To make things right. To let our apologies be as visible as our convictions.

Philippians 2:15 says we are to “shine as lights in the world.”

Light is not loud. It is steady.

It shines in the way we forgive when it would be easier to hold on. In the way we tell the truth when it costs us. In the way we love quietly, consistently, without needing recognition.

If I speak about forgiveness, may I forgive.

If I speak about love, may I love sacrificially.

If I speak about Christ, may my life reflect Him even when no one is watching.

The world may never read the Bible, but it reads us every day and perhaps the most powerful testimony we carry is not the eloquence of our words, but the integrity of our walk.

I am still learning. Still being refined. Still asking the Lord to make my life match what my lips confess.

May our lives speak clearly. May they speak gently. May they speak Christ.

reflection in Christ

The Gift of Hate: A Forgotten Weapon for Christian Freedom

~ Observant Servant

There is a kind of language in Scripture that feels strong, almost uncomfortable at first glance.

“Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”
— Romans 12:9

That word abhor isn’t mild. It isn’t polite. It means to recoil. To reject something with conviction. And if I’m honest, there have been seasons when I’ve tried to follow Christ without fully embracing that part.

I’ve loved what is good. I’ve pursued growth. I’ve prayed for freedom. But I’ve also, at times, tolerated what God clearly calls harmful. Not because I wanted rebellion, but because some things felt familiar. Some compromises felt small. Some habits didn’t seem urgent enough to confront.

And yet Scripture doesn’t suggest a casual relationship with sin. It doesn’t say “be cautious around evil.” It says abhor it.

That challenges me.

Because this isn’t about hating people. It’s not about harshness or condemnation. It’s about recognizing that sin destroys what God loves. And if I truly love what He loves, I cannot stay neutral toward what harms it.

Psalm 97:10 says, “You who love the Lord, hate evil.”

Love and hate feel like opposites to us, but in this context they’re deeply connected. If I love freedom, I will hate what enslaves. If I love truth, I will hate deception. If I love the people in my life, I will hate whatever seeks to wound or bind them.

I’ve come to realize something uncomfortable: sometimes we stay stuck not because we lack prayer, but because we haven’t fully decided we’re done.

Sin can feel good for a moment. Compromise can feel manageable. Certain patterns can feel like home simply because they’re familiar. And familiarity can dull conviction.

There were times in my own walk when I tried to “manage” certain weaknesses instead of confronting them. I would ask for strength while still secretly tolerating the very thing that kept me bound.

Freedom didn’t begin until tolerance ended.

Hebrews 12:1 tells us to “lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us.” That language is intentional. Lay it aside. Not negotiate with it. Not rename it. Not make peace with it.

Lay it down.

I’ve learned that holy hatred is not loud or dramatic. It’s a quiet resolve. It’s the moment when something in you says, “This is not who I am in Christ anymore.”

It sharpens discernment. Things that once felt gray become clearer. It changes how you pray. You begin praying not casually, but with conviction. You begin asking God to uproot, not just manage.

And yet, even here, humility matters.

Because this is not about self-righteousness. It’s not about looking at someone else’s struggle and feeling superior. It’s about standing before God and saying, “Search me. If there is anything in me that grieves You, I don’t want it.”

Hebrews 5:14 speaks of having our senses trained to discern good from evil. That training happens in the Word. It happens in surrender. It happens when we stop softening language around sin and start calling it what it is.

But we must be careful.

We hate the sin. We never hate the person.

Jesus was unwavering toward evil, yet tender toward the broken. He confronted bondage without crushing the bound. That balance humbles me. I don’t want a heart that is hard. I want a heart that is aligned.

The more I love God, the more I want to love what He loves and reject what diminishes His work in me.

Romans 12:9 does not stand alone. It pairs two commands together: “Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”

It is not enough to reject darkness. We must cling to light. Not loosely. Cling.

If there is something in your life that still quietly holds you, maybe the invitation isn’t to try harder. Maybe it’s to become honest enough to say, “Lord, I am tired of this. I don’t want it anymore.”

The day you stop excusing what binds you is often the day freedom begins to feel possible.

Not because you are strong, but because you have decided you agree with God.

And agreeing with Him is always the beginning of liberty.

Father,

Search me gently.

If there is anything in my heart that I have tolerated simply because it felt familiar, bring it into the light. If I have grown comfortable with what You call harmful, awaken me. I do not want to manage what You desire to remove.

Teach me to love what You love and to reject what diminishes Your work in me. Not with harshness. Not with pride. But with clarity. With conviction. With humility.

If there are patterns that still bind me, give me the courage to call them what they are. If I have excused what You have warned against, forgive me. I don’t want partial freedom. I want wholeness.

Lord, purify my loves. Align my heart with Yours. Let my agreement be with truth, not temptation. Strengthen my resolve where I have been weak. Soften my heart where I have grown indifferent.

And as I turn away from what harms, draw me closer to what heals. Help me cling to what is good. Help me rest in what is righteous. Help me remember that Your commands are not burdens — they are protection.

Make my life clean before You. Not performative. Not self-righteous. Just surrendered.

I want to walk free.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

silent prayer

Knit Together in Love: Why Unity Protects Against Spiritual Attack

~ Observant Servant

Why Being Knit Together in Love Matters

I’ve been thinking a lot about how fragile unity can be — and how powerful it is when it’s protected.

Scripture speaks of believers being “knit together in love.” That phrase feels intentional to me. Knitting takes patience. It takes care. Thread woven through thread until something strong is formed. It doesn’t happen accidentally.

Colossians 3:14 says, “Above all, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Love is described as something that binds. Holds. Secures.

And yet, I’ve seen how easily that binding can loosen when we stop guarding it.

Disunity rarely begins with something dramatic. It often starts quietly. A misunderstood comment. An unspoken offense. A conversation held in the wrong tone. Bitterness that goes unaddressed. Gossip that feels harmless in the moment.

Ephesians 4:27 says, “Do not give the devil a foothold.”

That word foothold stays with me. It suggests something small at first — a crack in the wall. A place to stand. And once that space is given, it doesn’t stay small.

I’ve felt how division drains a room. How tension weakens prayer. How unresolved hurt makes worship feel heavy. It’s not just relational. It’s spiritual.

Psalm 133 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity… For there the Lord commanded the blessing.”

There. In unity.

That tells me something sobering. Blessing flows where unity is guarded. When unity erodes, something vital is affected.

I’ve seen ministries unravel not because of lack of gifting, but because of unresolved conflict. I’ve seen families strained because pride was protected instead of peace. I’ve seen churches lose their clarity because love was assumed instead of practiced.

And if I’m honest, I’ve had to confront my own heart in this.

It’s easy to talk about unity in theory. It’s harder to choose humility when you feel misunderstood. It’s harder to forgive quickly when you believe you were right. It’s harder to guard your words when emotions are high.

Philippians 2:3–4 tells us to “value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

That kind of humility does not come naturally. It is chosen.

Unity doesn’t mean uniformity. It doesn’t mean pretending differences don’t exist. It means choosing love over ego. Choosing reconciliation over being right. Choosing to protect the bond rather than prove a point.

I’ve learned that unity must be tended like a garden. Forgiveness has to be practiced daily. Offenses must be addressed gently before they take root. Conversations must be had in the open rather than in whispers.

When Christ remains at the center, perspective shifts. We remember we are one body under one Head. We are not competing pieces. We are connected.

First Corinthians 12 reminds us that we belong to one another. That truth humbles me. My words affect the body. My attitude affects the body. My willingness to forgive strengthens the body.

Unity is not weakness. It is protection.

When love binds us together, the enemy has fewer places to stand. When humility replaces pride, footholds disappear. When forgiveness is quick, division struggles to survive.

I don’t want to be the thread that snaps.

I want to be someone who protects the weave. Who chooses patience. Who refuses gossip. Who prays for those I struggle to understand. Who keeps Christ at the center even when emotions try to move Him aside.

“Above all, put on love.”

Above being right.
Above being heard.
Above winning the argument.

Put on love.

Because when love binds us together, the fabric holds.

And where unity is guarded, God’s presence rests in a way that nothing else can replicate.

Father,

Search my heart where unity is concerned.

If there is pride in me that resists humility, soften it. If there is offense I have allowed to linger, bring it gently to the surface so I can release it. I do not want to be a place where division finds room to grow.

Teach me to value peace more than being right. Guard my words from carelessness. Guard my thoughts from suspicion. Guard my heart from bitterness that tries to disguise itself as discernment.

Lord, help me walk in the kind of love that binds rather than separates. When misunderstandings arise, give me patience. When conflict comes, give me gentleness. When I am tempted to withdraw or defend myself, remind me that unity is worth protecting.

Keep Christ at the center of every relationship You’ve placed in my life. Let humility anchor me. Let forgiveness come quickly. Let reconciliation matter more than reputation.

If there are cracks forming anywhere around me — in my home, my church, my friendships — show me how to be a bridge instead of a barrier. Make me mindful that my attitude and my words carry weight.

Above all, clothe me in love. Bind my heart to Yours so closely that division has no foothold. May my life contribute to harmony, not fracture. May I help strengthen the weave, not unravel it.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Guarding Peace in a Spiritual World

~ Observant Servant

I want to approach this carefully and thoughtfully.

Over the years, I’ve had conversations with people who were genuinely frightened by things they couldn’t explain. Noises in the house. Objects out of place. A heavy atmosphere. Sometimes what unsettled them most wasn’t the external disturbance, but the internal spiral that followed — fear, confusion, even questioning their own sanity.

While Scripture doesn’t use the word “poltergeist,” it does acknowledge spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers.” That verse tells me something important: there is a spiritual dimension to our lives. But it also tells me that fear is not the center of the story — Christ’s authority is.

I’ve learned that when something feels oppressive or disturbing, the first and most important response is not panic. It is anchoring.

Fear has a way of multiplying. Once it enters, it starts interpreting everything through its lens. A normal sound becomes sinister. A small coincidence feels supernatural. The enemy doesn’t always need dramatic manifestations; sometimes confusion and anxiety are enough to destabilize someone.

Scripture repeatedly calls us back to sobriety and steadiness. “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). That phrase sound mind matters deeply. Anything that robs us of clarity and peace should drive us closer to Christ, not deeper into speculation.

If someone has been involved in occult practices in the past — whether knowingly or casually — repentance is always wise. Acts 19 describes believers burning items connected to sorcery after coming to faith. Not out of superstition, but out of allegiance. When we belong to Christ, we close doors that once stood open.

But I’ve also come to see that not every disturbance is spiritual in origin. Homes make noises. Stress amplifies perception. Trauma heightens sensitivity. Sometimes what feels spiritual is emotional exhaustion, unresolved grief, or anxiety looking for an explanation.

That’s why grounding matters.

James 4:7 gives a simple but powerful instruction: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Notice the order. Submission first. Resistance second. The focus is not on chasing darkness, but on staying aligned with God.

If fear is present in a home or heart, the invitation is not to obsess over what might be there. It is to fill the space with light. Prayer. Worship. Scripture read aloud. Conversations rooted in truth. Peace invited intentionally.

Forgiveness also matters. Ephesians 4:27 warns us not to “give place to the devil.” Bitterness, unresolved conflict, and unrepented sin can create vulnerability in ways we don’t always recognize. Clearing those spaces is less about fighting entities and more about restoring spiritual health.

I’ve found that a life anchored in Christ is not easily shaken. When we walk in repentance, humility, and obedience, we do not need to live on edge. Colossians 2:15 reminds us that Jesus has already disarmed principalities and powers. The victory is not fragile. It is finished.

If you ever feel unsettled, begin with peace. Invite the Lord into the space. Speak His name without fear. Seek wise counsel if needed — and don’t hesitate to address practical explanations alongside spiritual ones. God works through wisdom as much as through prayer.

The goal is not to become fascinated with darkness. The goal is to remain rooted in light.

Where Christ reigns, fear does not get the final word.

#SpiritualWarfare #ChristianDeliverance #PoltergeistSpirits #DemonicManifestations #BiblicalProtection

Grace Growers: How God Uses Difficult People to Shape Our Character

~ Observant Servant

There are certain people in my life who have shaped me more than they probably realize.

Not because they were easy. Not because everything flowed smoothly. But because something in me was exposed in their presence. Impatience. Defensiveness. Pride. The parts of my heart that still needed refinement.

I’ve come to think of them as quiet instruments in God’s hands.

Ephesians 6:12 reminds me, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers…” That verse has rescued me more than once. Because when I forget it, I turn people into enemies. When I remember it, I pause.

The battle is not the person.

That shift changes everything.

Instead of reacting in frustration, I’m invited to respond with discernment. Instead of feeding offense, I’m asked to choose grace. It doesn’t make the interaction easy, but it steadies me. It reminds me that God may be doing more in me than through the situation itself.

Jesus said in John 15 that we must remain in the Vine. Growth does not happen because I will it to happen. It happens because I stay connected. And sometimes the evidence that I am growing is not how I feel during a hard conversation, but how I respond afterward.

There have been moments when I wanted to justify my reaction. To defend myself quickly. To withdraw completely. But I’m learning that spiritual maturity often looks like restraint. It looks like asking, “Lord, what are You forming in me right now?”

Hard situations reveal what is still unhealed. Difficult people reveal where I still need patience. Unexpected criticism reveals how secure I truly am.

And if I’m honest, grace rarely grows in comfort.

Galatians 5 speaks of the fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. I’ve noticed those qualities don’t develop in isolation. They grow when tested. Patience requires something to endure. Gentleness requires something sharp to soften against. Self-control requires something that provokes.

I used to think spiritual growth would feel like constant peace. Instead, it often feels like friction that exposes what still needs surrender.

That doesn’t mean we accept mistreatment or abandon wisdom. Love and boundaries can coexist. Guarding your heart is not the same as hardening it. Sometimes maturity means speaking clearly. Sometimes it means stepping back. Sometimes it means saying no without guilt.

But even boundaries can be set with a steady heart instead of a wounded one.

I’ve had to ask myself difficult questions: Am I growing, or am I just enduring? Am I becoming more like Christ, or just more guarded? When something triggers me, is it because I’m being attacked — or because something in me still needs refinement?

These are not comfortable reflections. But they are necessary.

The truth is, the people who stretch me are often the ones God uses to deepen me. They are not interruptions to my growth. They are part of it.

And perhaps the most humbling realization of all is this: while I am being stretched by someone else, I am probably stretching someone too.

God is not only working on them.

He is working on me.

Every sharp edge is an invitation. Every moment of tension is an opportunity to respond differently than I once would have. Every irritation can become formation if I let it.

I am learning to pray more quickly before reacting. To breathe before speaking. To ask for the Spirit’s help instead of relying on my own restraint.

Growth is quieter than I expected.

It often looks like choosing gentleness when sarcasm would be easier. Choosing peace when proving a point would feel satisfying. Choosing love when withdrawal would feel safer.

And little by little, the rough edges soften.

Not because the world has changed — but because something in me has.

Father,

Thank You for caring more about my character than my comfort.

When I encounter people or situations that stretch me, help me remember that You are present in the process. Guard my heart from quick reactions and defensive words. Slow me down when I want to respond in the flesh. Teach me to pause long enough to ask, “Lord, what are You forming in me right now?”

If pride rises, humble me gently. If impatience surfaces, root it out. If old wounds are exposed, heal them instead of letting them harden me.

Help me to see beyond personalities and remember that my battle is not against flesh and blood. Give me discernment without suspicion. Give me boundaries without bitterness. Give me courage without harshness.

Grow in me what cannot grow in ease, patience, gentleness, self-control, steady love. Let the fruit of Your Spirit be more visible than my frustration.

And if I am someone else’s grace grower, refine me there too. Make me aware of how my words and tone affect others. Shape me into someone who strengthens rather than wounds.

Above all, keep me close to the Vine. Let my growth come from abiding in You, not from striving in my own strength.

Form Christ in me.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

#GraceGrowers #SpiritualGrowth #ChristianLiving #FruitOfTheSpirit #SpiritualMaturity #HealthyBoundaries #RespondWithLove #OvercomeEvilWithGood #ChristianEncouragement #FaithOverFeelings #ChristianCommunity #BibleStudy #KingdomLiving #FaithJourney #GodsGrace

The Reason behind the Storm

~ Observant Servant

There was a season recently when someone very close to me was walking through something that didn’t make sense.

It wasn’t just a hard week. It wasn’t ordinary stress. It was wave after wave — physical symptoms with no medical explanation, emotional strain, tension in relationships, strange opposition from directions that felt almost coordinated. It lasted for months. She eventually had to step away from work because it became so overwhelming.

And what made it heavier was not just the battle itself, but the commentary surrounding it.

She would reach out for prayer and be met with the same well-meaning counsel: pray more, examine your heart, close doors, renew your mind, forgive again — really forgive. The implication, subtle or not, was that somewhere she must be missing something. Somewhere she must be failing.

But I knew her. I watched her cling to the Word. I saw her fast, pray, seek God with sincerity. If effort alone could have resolved it, it would have.

Not long after, I went through something similar — though not to the same intensity. My health was hit. There were unsettling moments in the house I manage. Car trouble. Disturbances in my sleep. I wasn’t gripped by fear, but I was puzzled. I remember asking quietly, “Lord, what is this?”

When I reached out for prayer, I received the same responses she had. Pray harder. Have more faith. Search for hidden sin. Forgive deeper. It was offered with sincerity. But when that is the only lens applied to suffering, it can become heavy. The enemy is quick to twist it into condemnation.

I began to wrestle with a deeper question: Is protection always the absence of attack? If I am doing what I know to do — renewing my mind, guarding my heart, walking uprightly — does that mean hardship cannot touch me?

Scripture doesn’t support that conclusion.

Job lived righteously, and yet God permitted Satan to test him. His friends were certain he had done something wrong. They searched for hidden fault. But the text makes it clear: this was not punishment. It was permitted for reasons beyond human logic.

In Luke 22:31, Jesus tells Peter, “Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.” The sifting was allowed. But so was the prayer. “I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail.”

That detail steadies me. Sometimes the attack is not evidence of failure — it is an arena for faith to be strengthened.

In John 9, when the disciples saw a man born blind, their first instinct was to assign blame. “Who sinned?” Jesus answered, “Neither… but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”

That passage has changed the way I look at suffering in others. Not everything is a consequence. Not every storm is self-inflicted.

Sometimes God permits what He intends to redeem.

That realization softened something in me. It made me slower to diagnose, slower to assume, quicker to pray.

In both my friend’s story and mine, there came a moment of breakthrough. For her, it came through prayer offered by someone who carried quiet discernment rather than accusation. For me, it came through a dream where I sensed clearly that the Lord had heard me. From that point forward, the intensity lifted. In my case, something I had struggled with for years finally shifted.

It truly can feel darkest before the dawn.

Looking back, I see that the trial revealed more than weakness. It revealed perseverance. It exposed how quickly we can turn suffering into a checklist of spiritual failures instead of a mystery held in God’s sovereignty.

His thoughts are higher than ours. His ways are not ours.

Sometimes hardship is refining. Sometimes it is revealing. Sometimes it is preparation. And sometimes the reasons are known only to Him.

What I carry forward from that season is this: when someone comes to you in the middle of a storm, offer presence before prescription. Offer prayer before diagnosis. Ask the Lord for wisdom before drawing conclusions.

Their trial may be shaping them. But it may also be shaping you.

Will you respond with compassion? Will you speak gently? Will you trust that God may be doing something far deeper than what is visible?

I am learning that faith is not proven by the absence of attack, but by steady trust in the middle of it.

And when breakthrough comes, it reminds us that He was present the entire time.

Father,

Give us discernment when others are suffering. Guard our tongues from quick conclusions and our hearts from subtle judgment. Teach us to sit with the hurting without rushing to explain what only You understand.

If You allow sifting in our lives, strengthen our faith in the process. If You permit storms, anchor us in Your peace. Help us persevere without self-condemnation and trust that Your purposes are higher than what we see.

Make us gentle helpers. Wise intercessors. Steady friends.

And when the night feels long, remind us that dawn is not delayed — it is appointed.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Baptism Do-over

~ Observant Servant

When I was a teenager, I was baptized more than once.

If I’m honest, I don’t remember much about it other than standing in line with a group of other kids, walking up one side of the baptismal, being dunked, and climbing out the other side while everyone watched. It was something our youth group was doing. It felt expected. Almost routine. I remember the t-shirt afterward more than I remember the meaning.

Years passed.

By December 2020, my relationship with Jesus was no longer casual or borrowed from a group. I loved Him. I understood what baptism represented — death to the old life, resurrection into the new. This time it wasn’t about fitting in. It was about surrender.

And yet, in the days leading up to it, something strange happened.

Instead of excitement, I felt dread.

I couldn’t sleep. Panic attacks surfaced. Anxiety wrapped around me like something alive. On December 13, 2020, I stood on the steps of the baptismal shaking. I remember gripping the railing so tightly my hands hurt. Waves of dizziness hit me. I nearly passed out more than once.

When my name was called, I walked into the water trembling.

I fully expected that when I came up from the water, the fear would be gone. Wasn’t that how it worked? Public declaration. Obedience. Fresh start.

But when I rose from the water, the fear was still there.

I left that service confused and ashamed. I couldn’t understand why something that looked joyful for everyone else felt like torment for me. I replayed it in my mind for months. Then years. I would watch other baptisms — tears, laughter, celebration — and feel a quiet ache inside.

What was wrong with me?

Was I broken? Had I failed somehow? Why did others seem to encounter peace while I encountered panic?

Over time, the memory became something I avoided. I stopped wanting to be present for baptisms. It stirred too many questions.

Then, years later, I found myself at another baptism service. I had no intention of participating. I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. No extra clothes. No preparation. I planned to quietly observe and leave.

As I watched someone else step into the water, I felt both joy for them and that familiar longing rise up in me again.

And then I remembered Acts 8 — the Ethiopian eunuch asking Philip, “What hinders me from being baptized?” There was water. There was opportunity. He seized it.

When the invitation was given, I initially declined. The old fear stirred. So did shame. I was part of the ministry team. I should have had it together. What would people think? The thoughts were rapid, accusatory, sharp.

But something deeper in me knew this was a moment.

When I stepped into the water, the fear tried to rise again. It felt familiar — like a script attempting to replay itself. My body tensed. I could feel the resistance inside me. But this time, there was discernment where there had once only been confusion.

Prayer began.

And what had been hidden surfaced.

I won’t dramatize it. I will simply say this: it was a battle. And then it broke.

I felt it leave. Not emotionally. Not imaginatively. Tangibly.

When I went under the water that day — June 22, 2024 — I came up into something I had longed for years earlier. Peace. Lightness. Joy that stayed.

The difference was not my sincerity. I had loved Jesus deeply in 2020. The difference was understanding. There had been fear rooted deeper than I realized, and it had never been addressed. It manifested when I obeyed publicly. And because no one recognized it for what it was, it remained.

Hosea 4:6 says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”

That verse feels personal to me now.

I was saved. I loved God. But I did not understand spiritual oppression or deliverance. I thought anxiety was just something I had to manage. I didn’t know it could be confronted and expelled.

Looking back, I don’t feel anger toward the past. I feel gratitude for growth. God did not abandon me in that first baptism. He allowed the process to unfold in its time. He exposed what needed to be addressed when I was ready to face it.

And what I carry now is not embarrassment — it is testimony.

Freedom sometimes comes in layers. Obedience does not always erase struggle instantly. But when the Lord brings light to what has been hidden, it changes everything.

If you have obeyed and still feel bound, do not assume you are defective. If you have declared your faith and still wrestle internally, do not conclude that God is disappointed.

Sometimes the first step is obedience.
Sometimes the next step is deliverance.
And sometimes the breakthrough comes years after the surrender.

But it does come.

Father,

Thank You for Your patience with my process. Thank You for not leaving me in confusion. Where there is fear hiding beneath obedience, expose it gently. Where there is oppression disguised as personality, bring clarity. Give Your people knowledge, discernment, and courage to pursue full freedom.

And for those who feel ashamed that their journey has not looked like someone else’s, remind them that You are writing their story uniquely and carefully.

Let every act of obedience lead not to condemnation, but to deeper liberty.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

baptism

Subtle Seduction of the Occult

~ Observant Servant

There’s a story that has stayed with me.

Joe Gutierrez, a steelworker of more than forty years, described something that once captivated an entire mill. Fine silver flakes would float down from the cooling tower when steel strips rolled across certain pads. At night, under the lights, it looked almost magical — like snow drifting in August. Workers would compete for the job assignment in that section because it was considered the most beautiful place to stand.

Later they discovered the truth. The flakes were asbestos.

“Everybody breathed it,” he wrote. Now he and many others live with asbestosis: a slow, tightening grip in the lungs. And he reflected with haunting honesty: We used to fight over that job.

I can’t read that story without thinking about how many things in our culture resemble those silver flakes. Attractive. Harmless-looking. Almost enchanting.

But slowly destructive.

The occult is one of those things.

It rarely presents itself as dark and dangerous at first. It feels mystical. Intriguing. Sometimes even playful. A horoscope here. A tarot reading there. A personality quiz shaped like astrology. A show about mediums. A curiosity about “energy.” It all appears innocent enough.

And yet Scripture is clear.

Deuteronomy 18:10–12 leaves little room for ambiguity: “There shall not be found among you anyone who practices divination… or a witch… or a consulter with familiar spirits… For all that do these things are an abomination unto the Lord.”

Those are strong words. Not because God is restrictive, but because He is protective.

The word occult simply means hidden. Concealed. But hidden does not mean harmless. Hidden things often operate quietly. Subtly. Like airborne fibers no one questions until breathing becomes difficult.

I have noticed that much of our culture treats these practices as entertainment. Astrology columns sit beside weather reports. Tarot decks are sold as aesthetic décor. Witchcraft is repackaged as empowerment. Spiritual curiosity is encouraged — as long as it doesn’t point to Christ.

But Scripture warns us that engaging in these practices is not a neutral act. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:20 that behind idols are spiritual forces. To participate is to open fellowship with something other than God.

When someone turns to horoscopes, mediums, or divination, it quietly says, “I need knowledge beyond what God has given.” It implies that His Word is insufficient. That His guidance is incomplete. That perhaps He is withholding something good.

And that is the oldest lie.

In the garden, the serpent’s whisper was not overtly dark. It was subtle. “Did God really say?” It suggested that God might be limiting, not loving.

But everything we need to know about our future and our spiritual lives has already been entrusted to us in Scripture. We are called to walk by faith, not by secret knowledge. To trust the One who sees the end from the beginning.

Snow danced in August — and they fought to stand in it.

That image sobers me.

Not everything beautiful is safe. Not everything mystical is holy. Not everything popular is harmless.

We are invited to something deeper than fascination. We are invited to trust.

To take “good heed unto ourselves,” as Deuteronomy says. To guard our hearts from being driven to worship what was created instead of the Creator. To stand firmly on the sufficiency of God’s Word.

There is peace in not needing hidden knowledge. There is freedom in not chasing signs. There is security in walking step by step with the Shepherd who promises to guide, protect, and care for us.

The silver flakes glittered.

But they slowly stole breath.

May we have discernment to recognize what sparkles, and the wisdom to step away before it settles in our lungs.

God’s Gift of Hate

~ Observant Servant

There was a season in my walk with Christ when my world quietly shifted. When I first became a believer, my circle of secular friends slowly faded and was replaced with Christian community. That part didn’t surprise me. It felt like a natural consequence of choosing a new direction.

What I didn’t expect was that when I began speaking openly about deliverance, my circle would shrink again. Conversations became strained. Some of the same believers who once felt close seemed uncomfortable around me. There was a noticeable distance, an unspoken hesitation. I hadn’t anticipated that obedience would cost me fellowship in certain spaces.

But I can say this now with clarity: it has been worth it.

Following Jesus has always come with a cost. He never hid that. And stepping onto the front lines of spiritual warfare exposes things that comfortable Christianity often prefers not to address. When your eyes are opened to the battle, you can’t unsee it.

Looking back at old journals from when I was newly born again, I can see that the Holy Spirit was gently trying to show me that I still needed freedom in certain areas. At the time, I didn’t understand what I was being shown. Later, when I did become involved in a church, I was warned away from a particular minister whose teachings had been helping me. I trusted the counsel I was given and stepped back. Only now do I realize that the enemy had quietly used well-meaning believers to delay my deliverance.

That realization stirred something in me.

Not bitterness toward people — but a deep, fierce hatred toward what the enemy does to people. I began to see more clearly the destruction, the compromise, the confusion he sows. I saw how he delays healing, twists truth, isolates believers, and even hides behind religious language to keep people bound.

And I realized something else: if we do not hate sin, we will tolerate it.

Scripture says, “You who love the Lord, hate evil” (Psalm 97:10). That used to sound harsh to me. Now it sounds protective. If I love what God loves, I must also hate what harms what He loves. Proverbs 6:16–19 tells us plainly that there are things the Lord hates — pride, lying, violence, wicked schemes, discord among brothers. Godly love does not coexist with passive acceptance of evil.

This kind of hatred is not rage toward people. It is not personal vendetta. It is not self-righteousness. It is a settled, holy refusal to make peace with what destroys souls.

I have learned that hatred of sin strengthens resolve. It sharpens discernment. It fuels repentance. It keeps you from excusing the very thing that once enslaved you. When you truly hate your bondage, you stop negotiating with it.

For years, I misunderstood my struggles. I thought I simply needed to try harder, pray longer, perform better. But real freedom began when I stopped minimizing sin and started seeing it the way God sees it — not as a harmless flaw, but as a thief.

There is a righteous anger that rises when you understand what the enemy has stolen from you and from others. That anger, when surrendered to God, becomes a weapon. Not against flesh and blood, but against deception.

We are heirs of the King. Not timid observers. Not passive bystanders. But sons and daughters called to stand.

If we do not hate sin, we will eventually accommodate it. If we do not hate deception, we will slowly be shaped by it. If we do not hate the enemy’s schemes, we will underestimate them.

This is not about becoming harsh. It is about becoming clear.

And clarity is a gift.

A Prayer for the Godly Gift of Hate

Father,

Search my heart and purify my motives. If there is bitterness in me, remove it. If there is pride in me, humble it. But if there is passivity toward sin, awaken me.

Teach me to love what You love and to hate what You hate. Give me a holy hatred for the things that destroy souls, corrupt truth, and delay freedom. Help me never to direct that hatred toward people, but toward the sin and deception that binds them.

Strengthen me to refuse compromise. Sharpen my discernment so I do not excuse what You call evil. Let my anger be righteous and surrendered, not reckless or fleshly.

Make me bold but gentle. Fierce but humble. Unyielding toward sin, yet overflowing with mercy toward people.

I belong to You. Train my heart for battle. Guard me from deception. And let my hatred of evil always flow from a deeper love for You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Send me…

~ Observant Servant

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I; send me!’
Isaiah 6:8

Back in October of last year I felt the need to take a day trip to a place called Montezuma Well. The gentle nudge came when I was looking for some out of town areas to explore. Now granted, in my happening upon this place in a Google search, it seemed to be a bit boring. Plus it was hot out and it’s about a 3 hour drive from where I live. Gas was also around $4.25-4.50 a gallon. So, in my opinion, it wasn’t worth the drive. But I went anyway.

While driving I kept thinking that maybe God wanted me to go there for a reason. So I began to pray about it. As I was getting close, I realized I really needed to get gas. So I asked God to lead me to a place that gas was less than $4. (And if He did this, then I would know that I was in His will in taking this trip.) I was beginning to feel pretty silly about driving so far for nothing spectacular.

Eventually I happened across a small mom and pop station and it had gas for $3.99. I took it as a sign that God was hearing me and pulled in. There was no one around other than a tanker driver who was delivering fuel on the other side of the pump. He was Hispanic burly guy, a little rough looking. He kinda seemed angry and closed off in all honesty. As I was pumping my gas, I noticed he was watching me and I started feeling a bit of fear creep up but I brushed it off and greeted him mentioning something about the weather. I don’t remember what exactly it was I said but he seemed to relax a bit and we had a brief chat.

While I was finishing up and putting my card back in my wallet, I felt I should give him a Gospel tract. (I carry them with me in the form of $1 Million bills.) I offered it to him, asked if he had seen one before. He said “no” and I told him about the real treasure was on the back where it told about Jesus. He just nodded, didn’t really respond.

As he was looking the bill over I said “You know… Jesus, He loves you. He sees you.”

It’s not normally how I initiate conversations when I share the Gospel but my “normal” seemed out of place on this day.

He paused for a moment and when he looked up, he had tears in his eyes. It was like he transformed into a whole different person in front of me. He began to tell me about how he lost his job during the pandemic because he refused to get vax’d. How his wife had left him and took his children and he lost his house and everything else and now he was living in his truck. He told me how he felt so alone and isolated and he had been praying for a sign because he didn’t think he could make it. He was so broken. I couldn’t help but hug him and encourage him to draw nearer to Jesus. We conversed for a bit more then I prayed for him and gave him a Gospel of John. He thanked me, his spirit seemed much lighter and he was smiling.

Then we went our separate ways.

It is so important to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Ready and willing and having your feet shod with the Gospel of peace. One conversation can turn someones life around. I encourage you to pray daily for the Lord to use you. Ask Him to give you an opportunity to bring Jesus into someone’s life. I promise you will be blessed by the encounter.

feet of the Gospel