Author: Observant Servant

The Safety of Being Hidden in Christ

~ Observant Servant

There are seasons when I feel pulled in a hundred directions. Responsibilities. Conversations. Expectations. Noise. And in the middle of it all, I find myself longing for something quieter — not escape, but refuge.

Psalm 91 has become deeply personal to me:

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress:
my God; in Him will I trust.”
— Psalm 91:1–2

The phrase that lingers with me is “dwells in the secret place.”

It does not say visits occasionally. It does not say rushes through. It says dwells.

There is a difference between knowing about God and living tucked close to Him. Dwelling implies remaining. Lingering. Staying when there is nothing impressive happening. Staying when there is no audience. Staying when the world feels loud.

I am learning that the secret place is not dramatic. It is quiet. It is the steady turning of my heart toward Him before I turn toward the day. It is choosing stillness before reaction. It is letting His voice speak before every other voice gets my attention.

The world rewards visibility. God invites hiddenness.

The world celebrates speed. God cultivates depth.

And depth does not grow in noise.

When the psalmist says we abide under the shadow of the Almighty, I picture being close enough to feel His nearness. A shadow only covers what stands near. The promise is not for the hurried or the distracted. It is for the one who dwells.

I have also realized that the secret place is not about isolation. It is about alignment. I can walk into a room full of people and still carry that quiet steadiness if I have first sat with Him.

There is protection in that kind of life. Not protection from hardship, but protection from losing myself in it. When I dwell with Him, fear does not get to define me. Urgency does not control me. Approval does not anchor me.

He becomes my refuge.

And refuge is not weakness. It is wisdom.

There have been moments when I tried to fight battles without first dwelling. I reacted instead of resting. I spoke before listening. I moved before praying. And I felt the strain of carrying weight that was never meant to sit on my shoulders.

Psalm 91 gently corrects that tendency.

Dwelling is not passive. It is intentional. It is choosing to remain in Him so that when the winds rise, I am not uprooted.

The more I sit with this, the more I realize that the secret place is not a location. It is a posture. It is the quiet decision to trust Him before I trust my own understanding.

“He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in Him will I trust.”

That last line feels like surrender. Not frantic faith. Not anxious striving. Just trust.

If you feel stretched thin or unsettled, perhaps the invitation is not to do more, but to dwell more deeply. To return to the quiet place where your soul is reminded who holds it.

The secret place is not small. It is sacred.

And those who dwell there are never alone.

Father,

Thank You that my life is hidden with Christ in You. Thank You that I am not exposed to the shifting opinions of the world, not defined by applause or diminished by silence. I am held.

When I am tempted to measure my worth by visibility, remind me that security in You is greater than recognition from others. When hidden seasons feel confusing or small, help me trust that You are forming roots beneath the surface.

Teach me to live from belonging instead of striving. Quiet the part of me that wants to prove, perform, or compete. Anchor me in the truth that I am adopted, chosen, and fully Yours.

If You are growing something in me that no one else can yet see, give me patience. If You are protecting me from pressures I don’t even recognize, give me gratitude. If You are shaping my character in unseen places, give me humility.

Lord, let my identity rest safely in Christ. Let my heart be steady whether I am noticed or not. Help me value faithfulness over fame, obedience over approval, and intimacy with You over public affirmation.

Keep me hidden where I need to be hidden. Bring me forward only when You are ready. And in every season, remind me that being held by You is more than enough.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

hidden in christ

When Our Lives Speak

~ Observant Servant

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much our lives communicate without us realizing it.

It’s easy to speak about faith. It’s easy to post a verse, share encouragement, or explain what we believe. But what lingers with people isn’t usually what we say — it’s how we live.

Jesus said, “By their fruits you will know them” (Matthew 7:16).

He didn’t say we would be known by our intentions. Or by how well we articulate truth. He said fruit. Something visible. Something that grows over time. Something others can taste and see.

That humbles me.

Because I know there have been moments when my words were stronger than my actions. Moments when I spoke about patience but responded too quickly. Moments when I spoke about grace but struggled to extend it.

And I’ve also been on the other side — wounded by inconsistency. Hurt by someone who carried the name of Christ but not always His character.

The world already knows hypocrisy. It doesn’t need more of it from us.

When Paul wrote, “Follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1), that feels bold. Almost uncomfortable. To live in such a way that someone could safely imitate you.

But I think that’s the invitation.

Not perfection. Not performance. But alignment.

Alignment between what we proclaim and what we practice.

Jesus warned about causing others to stumble (Matthew 18:6). That isn’t meant to create fear, but awareness. Our lives carry influence whether we want them to or not. The way we handle conflict. The way we apologize. The way we respond when misunderstood. The way we treat people who cannot benefit us.

All of it speaks.

And yet, what comforts me is this: when we fail, restoration is possible.

Peter denied Jesus three times. Publicly. Painfully. But in John 21, Jesus restored him with gentleness. He did not discard him. He drew him close again. Peter’s failure was not the end of his usefulness. It became part of his humility.

That gives me hope.

Because practicing what we preach is not about never stumbling. It is about being willing to repent when we do. To reconcile. To make things right. To let our apologies be as visible as our convictions.

Philippians 2:15 says we are to “shine as lights in the world.”

Light is not loud. It is steady.

It shines in the way we forgive when it would be easier to hold on. In the way we tell the truth when it costs us. In the way we love quietly, consistently, without needing recognition.

If I speak about forgiveness, may I forgive.

If I speak about love, may I love sacrificially.

If I speak about Christ, may my life reflect Him even when no one is watching.

The world may never read the Bible, but it reads us every day and perhaps the most powerful testimony we carry is not the eloquence of our words, but the integrity of our walk.

I am still learning. Still being refined. Still asking the Lord to make my life match what my lips confess.

May our lives speak clearly. May they speak gently. May they speak Christ.

reflection in Christ

When the Past Still Pulls at You

~ Observant Servant

There have been seasons in my life when I’ve asked myself a quiet question:

Why does this still affect me?

A name from the past.
A memory I thought was healed.
An emotion that rises unexpectedly.
A connection that technically ended, but somehow never fully released.

If I’m honest, there have been relationships that lingered long after they were over. Not always in dramatic ways. Sometimes just subtle threads. A pull. A tenderness. A weight I couldn’t quite explain.

Scripture reminds us how deeply human connection can go. Genesis 2:24 says, “The two shall become one flesh.” That kind of joining is not casual. It is spiritual. Intentional. Powerful. And I’ve come to realize that not every bond we form is meant to last.

Some connections are holy. The friendship between David and Jonathan is described in 1 Samuel 18:1 as souls knit together. That was covenant friendship — strengthening, faithful, life-giving. Marriage, when formed in God’s design, carries that same sacred unity.

But other ties are formed in broken places.

Sometimes through intimacy outside of covenant.
Sometimes through trauma.
Sometimes through manipulation, dependency, or shared sin.
Sometimes through vows spoken in emotion that we were never meant to carry.

And even when those relationships end, something can remain.

I don’t always like admitting that. But I have felt it. A difficulty moving on. Thought patterns that circle back. Emotional reactions that feel disproportionate to the present moment.

Hebrews 12:1 says, “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us.”

Sometimes the weight isn’t obvious rebellion. Sometimes it’s a lingering attachment.

Unhealthy bonds can quietly shape how we see ourselves. They can influence our decisions, our boundaries, even our spiritual growth. I have had to ask myself hard questions in prayer.

Is this connection drawing me closer to Christ — or subtly pulling me back into who I used to be?

Am I carrying guilt that Jesus already covered?

Am I confusing familiarity with covenant?

These questions are not accusations. They are invitations.

John 8:36 says, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”

Freedom isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like quiet release. Sometimes it looks like repentance. Sometimes it looks like forgiving someone who never apologized.

There was a time when I thought breaking unhealthy ties meant anger. Harshness. Cutting people off abruptly. I’ve learned it is often more gentle than that.

It starts with honesty before God.

Admitting where I stepped outside His wisdom.
Confessing where I formed agreements I shouldn’t have.
Acknowledging where I allowed someone to occupy a space in my heart that belongs to Him.

Then comes forgiveness. Not because what happened was acceptable, but because I no longer want to be spiritually tethered to it.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart, for out of it flow the issues of life.”

Guarding your heart isn’t about building walls. It’s about discernment. Not every connection is meant to be permanent. Not every bond is meant to define you.

What comforts me most is this: the goal is not simply cutting ties. The goal is being rightly anchored.

Hebrews 6:19 calls hope in Christ “an anchor of the soul.”

That phrase steadies me.

Because I don’t want to live detached and guarded. I want to be securely attached to the right place. To Christ first. Then to relationships that reflect His heart. Then to friendships that strengthen faith instead of weaken it.

If something from your past still pulls at you, do not hide from it. Bring it into prayer. Ask the Lord to show you whether it is blessing or burden.

And if it is a burden, trust that the same God who allowed the connection can also untangle it.

Freedom is not cold. It is clean.

And being bound to Christ is the only tie that never needs breaking.

Release and Redemption

SoulTies #BreakingSoulTies #SpiritualFreedom #Deliverance #ChristianHealing #FreedomInChrist #BreakEveryChain BiblicalTeaching #ChristianLiving #FaithAndFreedom #SetFree #RenewYourMind #SpiritualWarfare ChristianBlog #ChristianCommunity #FaithJourney #HealingAndRestoration #WalkInFreedom

The Gift of Hate: A Forgotten Weapon for Christian Freedom

~ Observant Servant

There is a kind of language in Scripture that feels strong, almost uncomfortable at first glance.

“Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”
— Romans 12:9

That word abhor isn’t mild. It isn’t polite. It means to recoil. To reject something with conviction. And if I’m honest, there have been seasons when I’ve tried to follow Christ without fully embracing that part.

I’ve loved what is good. I’ve pursued growth. I’ve prayed for freedom. But I’ve also, at times, tolerated what God clearly calls harmful. Not because I wanted rebellion, but because some things felt familiar. Some compromises felt small. Some habits didn’t seem urgent enough to confront.

And yet Scripture doesn’t suggest a casual relationship with sin. It doesn’t say “be cautious around evil.” It says abhor it.

That challenges me.

Because this isn’t about hating people. It’s not about harshness or condemnation. It’s about recognizing that sin destroys what God loves. And if I truly love what He loves, I cannot stay neutral toward what harms it.

Psalm 97:10 says, “You who love the Lord, hate evil.”

Love and hate feel like opposites to us, but in this context they’re deeply connected. If I love freedom, I will hate what enslaves. If I love truth, I will hate deception. If I love the people in my life, I will hate whatever seeks to wound or bind them.

I’ve come to realize something uncomfortable: sometimes we stay stuck not because we lack prayer, but because we haven’t fully decided we’re done.

Sin can feel good for a moment. Compromise can feel manageable. Certain patterns can feel like home simply because they’re familiar. And familiarity can dull conviction.

There were times in my own walk when I tried to “manage” certain weaknesses instead of confronting them. I would ask for strength while still secretly tolerating the very thing that kept me bound.

Freedom didn’t begin until tolerance ended.

Hebrews 12:1 tells us to “lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us.” That language is intentional. Lay it aside. Not negotiate with it. Not rename it. Not make peace with it.

Lay it down.

I’ve learned that holy hatred is not loud or dramatic. It’s a quiet resolve. It’s the moment when something in you says, “This is not who I am in Christ anymore.”

It sharpens discernment. Things that once felt gray become clearer. It changes how you pray. You begin praying not casually, but with conviction. You begin asking God to uproot, not just manage.

And yet, even here, humility matters.

Because this is not about self-righteousness. It’s not about looking at someone else’s struggle and feeling superior. It’s about standing before God and saying, “Search me. If there is anything in me that grieves You, I don’t want it.”

Hebrews 5:14 speaks of having our senses trained to discern good from evil. That training happens in the Word. It happens in surrender. It happens when we stop softening language around sin and start calling it what it is.

But we must be careful.

We hate the sin. We never hate the person.

Jesus was unwavering toward evil, yet tender toward the broken. He confronted bondage without crushing the bound. That balance humbles me. I don’t want a heart that is hard. I want a heart that is aligned.

The more I love God, the more I want to love what He loves and reject what diminishes His work in me.

Romans 12:9 does not stand alone. It pairs two commands together: “Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”

It is not enough to reject darkness. We must cling to light. Not loosely. Cling.

If there is something in your life that still quietly holds you, maybe the invitation isn’t to try harder. Maybe it’s to become honest enough to say, “Lord, I am tired of this. I don’t want it anymore.”

The day you stop excusing what binds you is often the day freedom begins to feel possible.

Not because you are strong, but because you have decided you agree with God.

And agreeing with Him is always the beginning of liberty.

Father,

Search me gently.

If there is anything in my heart that I have tolerated simply because it felt familiar, bring it into the light. If I have grown comfortable with what You call harmful, awaken me. I do not want to manage what You desire to remove.

Teach me to love what You love and to reject what diminishes Your work in me. Not with harshness. Not with pride. But with clarity. With conviction. With humility.

If there are patterns that still bind me, give me the courage to call them what they are. If I have excused what You have warned against, forgive me. I don’t want partial freedom. I want wholeness.

Lord, purify my loves. Align my heart with Yours. Let my agreement be with truth, not temptation. Strengthen my resolve where I have been weak. Soften my heart where I have grown indifferent.

And as I turn away from what harms, draw me closer to what heals. Help me cling to what is good. Help me rest in what is righteous. Help me remember that Your commands are not burdens — they are protection.

Make my life clean before You. Not performative. Not self-righteous. Just surrendered.

I want to walk free.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

silent prayer

Knit Together in Love: Why Unity Protects Against Spiritual Attack

~ Observant Servant

Why Being Knit Together in Love Matters

I’ve been thinking a lot about how fragile unity can be — and how powerful it is when it’s protected.

Scripture speaks of believers being “knit together in love.” That phrase feels intentional to me. Knitting takes patience. It takes care. Thread woven through thread until something strong is formed. It doesn’t happen accidentally.

Colossians 3:14 says, “Above all, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Love is described as something that binds. Holds. Secures.

And yet, I’ve seen how easily that binding can loosen when we stop guarding it.

Disunity rarely begins with something dramatic. It often starts quietly. A misunderstood comment. An unspoken offense. A conversation held in the wrong tone. Bitterness that goes unaddressed. Gossip that feels harmless in the moment.

Ephesians 4:27 says, “Do not give the devil a foothold.”

That word foothold stays with me. It suggests something small at first — a crack in the wall. A place to stand. And once that space is given, it doesn’t stay small.

I’ve felt how division drains a room. How tension weakens prayer. How unresolved hurt makes worship feel heavy. It’s not just relational. It’s spiritual.

Psalm 133 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity… For there the Lord commanded the blessing.”

There. In unity.

That tells me something sobering. Blessing flows where unity is guarded. When unity erodes, something vital is affected.

I’ve seen ministries unravel not because of lack of gifting, but because of unresolved conflict. I’ve seen families strained because pride was protected instead of peace. I’ve seen churches lose their clarity because love was assumed instead of practiced.

And if I’m honest, I’ve had to confront my own heart in this.

It’s easy to talk about unity in theory. It’s harder to choose humility when you feel misunderstood. It’s harder to forgive quickly when you believe you were right. It’s harder to guard your words when emotions are high.

Philippians 2:3–4 tells us to “value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

That kind of humility does not come naturally. It is chosen.

Unity doesn’t mean uniformity. It doesn’t mean pretending differences don’t exist. It means choosing love over ego. Choosing reconciliation over being right. Choosing to protect the bond rather than prove a point.

I’ve learned that unity must be tended like a garden. Forgiveness has to be practiced daily. Offenses must be addressed gently before they take root. Conversations must be had in the open rather than in whispers.

When Christ remains at the center, perspective shifts. We remember we are one body under one Head. We are not competing pieces. We are connected.

First Corinthians 12 reminds us that we belong to one another. That truth humbles me. My words affect the body. My attitude affects the body. My willingness to forgive strengthens the body.

Unity is not weakness. It is protection.

When love binds us together, the enemy has fewer places to stand. When humility replaces pride, footholds disappear. When forgiveness is quick, division struggles to survive.

I don’t want to be the thread that snaps.

I want to be someone who protects the weave. Who chooses patience. Who refuses gossip. Who prays for those I struggle to understand. Who keeps Christ at the center even when emotions try to move Him aside.

“Above all, put on love.”

Above being right.
Above being heard.
Above winning the argument.

Put on love.

Because when love binds us together, the fabric holds.

And where unity is guarded, God’s presence rests in a way that nothing else can replicate.

Father,

Search my heart where unity is concerned.

If there is pride in me that resists humility, soften it. If there is offense I have allowed to linger, bring it gently to the surface so I can release it. I do not want to be a place where division finds room to grow.

Teach me to value peace more than being right. Guard my words from carelessness. Guard my thoughts from suspicion. Guard my heart from bitterness that tries to disguise itself as discernment.

Lord, help me walk in the kind of love that binds rather than separates. When misunderstandings arise, give me patience. When conflict comes, give me gentleness. When I am tempted to withdraw or defend myself, remind me that unity is worth protecting.

Keep Christ at the center of every relationship You’ve placed in my life. Let humility anchor me. Let forgiveness come quickly. Let reconciliation matter more than reputation.

If there are cracks forming anywhere around me — in my home, my church, my friendships — show me how to be a bridge instead of a barrier. Make me mindful that my attitude and my words carry weight.

Above all, clothe me in love. Bind my heart to Yours so closely that division has no foothold. May my life contribute to harmony, not fracture. May I help strengthen the weave, not unravel it.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Guarding Peace in a Spiritual World

~ Observant Servant

I want to approach this carefully and thoughtfully.

Over the years, I’ve had conversations with people who were genuinely frightened by things they couldn’t explain. Noises in the house. Objects out of place. A heavy atmosphere. Sometimes what unsettled them most wasn’t the external disturbance, but the internal spiral that followed — fear, confusion, even questioning their own sanity.

While Scripture doesn’t use the word “poltergeist,” it does acknowledge spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers.” That verse tells me something important: there is a spiritual dimension to our lives. But it also tells me that fear is not the center of the story — Christ’s authority is.

I’ve learned that when something feels oppressive or disturbing, the first and most important response is not panic. It is anchoring.

Fear has a way of multiplying. Once it enters, it starts interpreting everything through its lens. A normal sound becomes sinister. A small coincidence feels supernatural. The enemy doesn’t always need dramatic manifestations; sometimes confusion and anxiety are enough to destabilize someone.

Scripture repeatedly calls us back to sobriety and steadiness. “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). That phrase sound mind matters deeply. Anything that robs us of clarity and peace should drive us closer to Christ, not deeper into speculation.

If someone has been involved in occult practices in the past — whether knowingly or casually — repentance is always wise. Acts 19 describes believers burning items connected to sorcery after coming to faith. Not out of superstition, but out of allegiance. When we belong to Christ, we close doors that once stood open.

But I’ve also come to see that not every disturbance is spiritual in origin. Homes make noises. Stress amplifies perception. Trauma heightens sensitivity. Sometimes what feels spiritual is emotional exhaustion, unresolved grief, or anxiety looking for an explanation.

That’s why grounding matters.

James 4:7 gives a simple but powerful instruction: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Notice the order. Submission first. Resistance second. The focus is not on chasing darkness, but on staying aligned with God.

If fear is present in a home or heart, the invitation is not to obsess over what might be there. It is to fill the space with light. Prayer. Worship. Scripture read aloud. Conversations rooted in truth. Peace invited intentionally.

Forgiveness also matters. Ephesians 4:27 warns us not to “give place to the devil.” Bitterness, unresolved conflict, and unrepented sin can create vulnerability in ways we don’t always recognize. Clearing those spaces is less about fighting entities and more about restoring spiritual health.

I’ve found that a life anchored in Christ is not easily shaken. When we walk in repentance, humility, and obedience, we do not need to live on edge. Colossians 2:15 reminds us that Jesus has already disarmed principalities and powers. The victory is not fragile. It is finished.

If you ever feel unsettled, begin with peace. Invite the Lord into the space. Speak His name without fear. Seek wise counsel if needed — and don’t hesitate to address practical explanations alongside spiritual ones. God works through wisdom as much as through prayer.

The goal is not to become fascinated with darkness. The goal is to remain rooted in light.

Where Christ reigns, fear does not get the final word.

#SpiritualWarfare #ChristianDeliverance #PoltergeistSpirits #DemonicManifestations #BiblicalProtection

Grace Growers: How God Uses Difficult People to Shape Our Character

~ Observant Servant

There are certain people in my life who have shaped me more than they probably realize.

Not because they were easy. Not because everything flowed smoothly. But because something in me was exposed in their presence. Impatience. Defensiveness. Pride. The parts of my heart that still needed refinement.

I’ve come to think of them as quiet instruments in God’s hands.

Ephesians 6:12 reminds me, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers…” That verse has rescued me more than once. Because when I forget it, I turn people into enemies. When I remember it, I pause.

The battle is not the person.

That shift changes everything.

Instead of reacting in frustration, I’m invited to respond with discernment. Instead of feeding offense, I’m asked to choose grace. It doesn’t make the interaction easy, but it steadies me. It reminds me that God may be doing more in me than through the situation itself.

Jesus said in John 15 that we must remain in the Vine. Growth does not happen because I will it to happen. It happens because I stay connected. And sometimes the evidence that I am growing is not how I feel during a hard conversation, but how I respond afterward.

There have been moments when I wanted to justify my reaction. To defend myself quickly. To withdraw completely. But I’m learning that spiritual maturity often looks like restraint. It looks like asking, “Lord, what are You forming in me right now?”

Hard situations reveal what is still unhealed. Difficult people reveal where I still need patience. Unexpected criticism reveals how secure I truly am.

And if I’m honest, grace rarely grows in comfort.

Galatians 5 speaks of the fruit of the Spirit — love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. I’ve noticed those qualities don’t develop in isolation. They grow when tested. Patience requires something to endure. Gentleness requires something sharp to soften against. Self-control requires something that provokes.

I used to think spiritual growth would feel like constant peace. Instead, it often feels like friction that exposes what still needs surrender.

That doesn’t mean we accept mistreatment or abandon wisdom. Love and boundaries can coexist. Guarding your heart is not the same as hardening it. Sometimes maturity means speaking clearly. Sometimes it means stepping back. Sometimes it means saying no without guilt.

But even boundaries can be set with a steady heart instead of a wounded one.

I’ve had to ask myself difficult questions: Am I growing, or am I just enduring? Am I becoming more like Christ, or just more guarded? When something triggers me, is it because I’m being attacked — or because something in me still needs refinement?

These are not comfortable reflections. But they are necessary.

The truth is, the people who stretch me are often the ones God uses to deepen me. They are not interruptions to my growth. They are part of it.

And perhaps the most humbling realization of all is this: while I am being stretched by someone else, I am probably stretching someone too.

God is not only working on them.

He is working on me.

Every sharp edge is an invitation. Every moment of tension is an opportunity to respond differently than I once would have. Every irritation can become formation if I let it.

I am learning to pray more quickly before reacting. To breathe before speaking. To ask for the Spirit’s help instead of relying on my own restraint.

Growth is quieter than I expected.

It often looks like choosing gentleness when sarcasm would be easier. Choosing peace when proving a point would feel satisfying. Choosing love when withdrawal would feel safer.

And little by little, the rough edges soften.

Not because the world has changed — but because something in me has.

Father,

Thank You for caring more about my character than my comfort.

When I encounter people or situations that stretch me, help me remember that You are present in the process. Guard my heart from quick reactions and defensive words. Slow me down when I want to respond in the flesh. Teach me to pause long enough to ask, “Lord, what are You forming in me right now?”

If pride rises, humble me gently. If impatience surfaces, root it out. If old wounds are exposed, heal them instead of letting them harden me.

Help me to see beyond personalities and remember that my battle is not against flesh and blood. Give me discernment without suspicion. Give me boundaries without bitterness. Give me courage without harshness.

Grow in me what cannot grow in ease, patience, gentleness, self-control, steady love. Let the fruit of Your Spirit be more visible than my frustration.

And if I am someone else’s grace grower, refine me there too. Make me aware of how my words and tone affect others. Shape me into someone who strengthens rather than wounds.

Above all, keep me close to the Vine. Let my growth come from abiding in You, not from striving in my own strength.

Form Christ in me.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

#GraceGrowers #SpiritualGrowth #ChristianLiving #FruitOfTheSpirit #SpiritualMaturity #HealthyBoundaries #RespondWithLove #OvercomeEvilWithGood #ChristianEncouragement #FaithOverFeelings #ChristianCommunity #BibleStudy #KingdomLiving #FaithJourney #GodsGrace

The Reason behind the Storm

~ Observant Servant

There was a season recently when someone very close to me was walking through something that didn’t make sense.

It wasn’t just a hard week. It wasn’t ordinary stress. It was wave after wave — physical symptoms with no medical explanation, emotional strain, tension in relationships, strange opposition from directions that felt almost coordinated. It lasted for months. She eventually had to step away from work because it became so overwhelming.

And what made it heavier was not just the battle itself, but the commentary surrounding it.

She would reach out for prayer and be met with the same well-meaning counsel: pray more, examine your heart, close doors, renew your mind, forgive again — really forgive. The implication, subtle or not, was that somewhere she must be missing something. Somewhere she must be failing.

But I knew her. I watched her cling to the Word. I saw her fast, pray, seek God with sincerity. If effort alone could have resolved it, it would have.

Not long after, I went through something similar — though not to the same intensity. My health was hit. There were unsettling moments in the house I manage. Car trouble. Disturbances in my sleep. I wasn’t gripped by fear, but I was puzzled. I remember asking quietly, “Lord, what is this?”

When I reached out for prayer, I received the same responses she had. Pray harder. Have more faith. Search for hidden sin. Forgive deeper. It was offered with sincerity. But when that is the only lens applied to suffering, it can become heavy. The enemy is quick to twist it into condemnation.

I began to wrestle with a deeper question: Is protection always the absence of attack? If I am doing what I know to do — renewing my mind, guarding my heart, walking uprightly — does that mean hardship cannot touch me?

Scripture doesn’t support that conclusion.

Job lived righteously, and yet God permitted Satan to test him. His friends were certain he had done something wrong. They searched for hidden fault. But the text makes it clear: this was not punishment. It was permitted for reasons beyond human logic.

In Luke 22:31, Jesus tells Peter, “Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.” The sifting was allowed. But so was the prayer. “I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail.”

That detail steadies me. Sometimes the attack is not evidence of failure — it is an arena for faith to be strengthened.

In John 9, when the disciples saw a man born blind, their first instinct was to assign blame. “Who sinned?” Jesus answered, “Neither… but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”

That passage has changed the way I look at suffering in others. Not everything is a consequence. Not every storm is self-inflicted.

Sometimes God permits what He intends to redeem.

That realization softened something in me. It made me slower to diagnose, slower to assume, quicker to pray.

In both my friend’s story and mine, there came a moment of breakthrough. For her, it came through prayer offered by someone who carried quiet discernment rather than accusation. For me, it came through a dream where I sensed clearly that the Lord had heard me. From that point forward, the intensity lifted. In my case, something I had struggled with for years finally shifted.

It truly can feel darkest before the dawn.

Looking back, I see that the trial revealed more than weakness. It revealed perseverance. It exposed how quickly we can turn suffering into a checklist of spiritual failures instead of a mystery held in God’s sovereignty.

His thoughts are higher than ours. His ways are not ours.

Sometimes hardship is refining. Sometimes it is revealing. Sometimes it is preparation. And sometimes the reasons are known only to Him.

What I carry forward from that season is this: when someone comes to you in the middle of a storm, offer presence before prescription. Offer prayer before diagnosis. Ask the Lord for wisdom before drawing conclusions.

Their trial may be shaping them. But it may also be shaping you.

Will you respond with compassion? Will you speak gently? Will you trust that God may be doing something far deeper than what is visible?

I am learning that faith is not proven by the absence of attack, but by steady trust in the middle of it.

And when breakthrough comes, it reminds us that He was present the entire time.

Father,

Give us discernment when others are suffering. Guard our tongues from quick conclusions and our hearts from subtle judgment. Teach us to sit with the hurting without rushing to explain what only You understand.

If You allow sifting in our lives, strengthen our faith in the process. If You permit storms, anchor us in Your peace. Help us persevere without self-condemnation and trust that Your purposes are higher than what we see.

Make us gentle helpers. Wise intercessors. Steady friends.

And when the night feels long, remind us that dawn is not delayed — it is appointed.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Baptism Do-over

~ Observant Servant

When I was a teenager, I was baptized more than once.

If I’m honest, I don’t remember much about it other than standing in line with a group of other kids, walking up one side of the baptismal, being dunked, and climbing out the other side while everyone watched. It was something our youth group was doing. It felt expected. Almost routine. I remember the t-shirt afterward more than I remember the meaning.

Years passed.

By December 2020, my relationship with Jesus was no longer casual or borrowed from a group. I loved Him. I understood what baptism represented — death to the old life, resurrection into the new. This time it wasn’t about fitting in. It was about surrender.

And yet, in the days leading up to it, something strange happened.

Instead of excitement, I felt dread.

I couldn’t sleep. Panic attacks surfaced. Anxiety wrapped around me like something alive. On December 13, 2020, I stood on the steps of the baptismal shaking. I remember gripping the railing so tightly my hands hurt. Waves of dizziness hit me. I nearly passed out more than once.

When my name was called, I walked into the water trembling.

I fully expected that when I came up from the water, the fear would be gone. Wasn’t that how it worked? Public declaration. Obedience. Fresh start.

But when I rose from the water, the fear was still there.

I left that service confused and ashamed. I couldn’t understand why something that looked joyful for everyone else felt like torment for me. I replayed it in my mind for months. Then years. I would watch other baptisms — tears, laughter, celebration — and feel a quiet ache inside.

What was wrong with me?

Was I broken? Had I failed somehow? Why did others seem to encounter peace while I encountered panic?

Over time, the memory became something I avoided. I stopped wanting to be present for baptisms. It stirred too many questions.

Then, years later, I found myself at another baptism service. I had no intention of participating. I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. No extra clothes. No preparation. I planned to quietly observe and leave.

As I watched someone else step into the water, I felt both joy for them and that familiar longing rise up in me again.

And then I remembered Acts 8 — the Ethiopian eunuch asking Philip, “What hinders me from being baptized?” There was water. There was opportunity. He seized it.

When the invitation was given, I initially declined. The old fear stirred. So did shame. I was part of the ministry team. I should have had it together. What would people think? The thoughts were rapid, accusatory, sharp.

But something deeper in me knew this was a moment.

When I stepped into the water, the fear tried to rise again. It felt familiar — like a script attempting to replay itself. My body tensed. I could feel the resistance inside me. But this time, there was discernment where there had once only been confusion.

Prayer began.

And what had been hidden surfaced.

I won’t dramatize it. I will simply say this: it was a battle. And then it broke.

I felt it leave. Not emotionally. Not imaginatively. Tangibly.

When I went under the water that day — June 22, 2024 — I came up into something I had longed for years earlier. Peace. Lightness. Joy that stayed.

The difference was not my sincerity. I had loved Jesus deeply in 2020. The difference was understanding. There had been fear rooted deeper than I realized, and it had never been addressed. It manifested when I obeyed publicly. And because no one recognized it for what it was, it remained.

Hosea 4:6 says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”

That verse feels personal to me now.

I was saved. I loved God. But I did not understand spiritual oppression or deliverance. I thought anxiety was just something I had to manage. I didn’t know it could be confronted and expelled.

Looking back, I don’t feel anger toward the past. I feel gratitude for growth. God did not abandon me in that first baptism. He allowed the process to unfold in its time. He exposed what needed to be addressed when I was ready to face it.

And what I carry now is not embarrassment — it is testimony.

Freedom sometimes comes in layers. Obedience does not always erase struggle instantly. But when the Lord brings light to what has been hidden, it changes everything.

If you have obeyed and still feel bound, do not assume you are defective. If you have declared your faith and still wrestle internally, do not conclude that God is disappointed.

Sometimes the first step is obedience.
Sometimes the next step is deliverance.
And sometimes the breakthrough comes years after the surrender.

But it does come.

Father,

Thank You for Your patience with my process. Thank You for not leaving me in confusion. Where there is fear hiding beneath obedience, expose it gently. Where there is oppression disguised as personality, bring clarity. Give Your people knowledge, discernment, and courage to pursue full freedom.

And for those who feel ashamed that their journey has not looked like someone else’s, remind them that You are writing their story uniquely and carefully.

Let every act of obedience lead not to condemnation, but to deeper liberty.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

baptism

Demons and Deliverance

~ Observant Servant

There’s a portion of my testimony I don’t talk about much and that portion has to do with how badly demons were tormenting me. How terrified I was. I became paranoid. Confused. Thought I was losing my mind. The first time I admitted to what I went through, I was told by a well-meaning Christian, that it was merely a “mid-life crisis”. After that, I never mentioned the depths of torment that I went through again.

In fact, the only time I have openly admitted to it was when I heard someone else talking about their experience. And at that moment I was in tears because I was so relieved I wasn’t alone in my experience.

Demons are nasty and some of the worst ones are let in when a person becomes involved with the occult. I embraced the occult at a young age while still under my parents roof. My mom had her own past that I only know bits of. I know that she was no “dabbler” but into heavy duty stuff that had serious repercussions down the family line. Even after she became a ‘Christian”, I was still raised watching shows like Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt on a regular basis. Add to that everything Disney had to offer and well, there you see my upbringing was soaked in witchcraft.

I turned fully into the occult by the time I was a teen. That went on for 35 years but in reality, it was my entire life.

When I found myself looking in the direction to Christ for answers, the demons in my life suddenly began rearing their ugly heads. Even though I wasn’t drinking or taking drugs, my mental state went on a terrifying downward spiral toward an abyss that I only knew I wanted no part of.

They began ganging up on me with demons in other people. Thoughts would flow through my mind and the people around me would either say exactly what I was thinking or make a comment about my exact thoughts without me saying a word. It was so horrible. I couldn’t escape my mind. It drove me to God.. and when I committed to Christ, it didn’t get better. In fact it got so much worse. Because now I had switched teams. The threats and visions I got were so intense that had I not been where I was at when it happened, I would have taken myself out in an effort to escape.

Christianity is supernatural.
You can’t escape it.
There is a real unseen realm where the most intense wars are fought.
Any Christian who thinks otherwise or thinks they can skate by and avoid it is fooling themselves.
They are blind.

All of that was part of my journey of deliverance. The only thing was I didn’t realize that I was in the process of it. I still had no idea of what I was up against.

As I stated before, becoming a Christian didn’t stop the torment. When I came to Christ through this process, the Holy Spirit was literally all I had. I didn’t own a Bible and I was in a facility that had no books available. In fact there was nothing available other than a tv with super bad reception. I spent (what I later found out was) a week straight in a large “L-shaped” room with about 20-25 other people. Though had you asked me what day it was or even what time of day it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. It felt like I was outside of time and space. I was aware it was passing but mentally I was outside of it, watching it pass. (Again, this was sober – I had no drugs or alcohol in my system and yet I felt like I was trapped riding a terrifying high.)

It was during this time that I began the process of learning how to hear the Holy Spirit. It was a crash-course in spiritual warfare that continued for months even after I made it back home. Initially it was like my mind was downloading all sorts of information. The veil had been pulled from my eyes and I saw the battle for souls. I watched it play out. I had visions of the wins and losses for both sides. Things that I can’t even describe.

While the enemy filled my mind with threats telling me I would never be safe, that I had a target on my back, that they would never leave me alone, cushioning me with more and more fear, the Holy Spirit would make His presence known to me, promising me that I would be kept safe just as long as I would believe and trust Him. While the enemy would manifest in the people around me and they would talk amongst themselves making their plans against me within earshot, I would pray to walk by them unseen and be amazed when those same people would pass me by as if I was invisible.

When I finally got my hands on the Bible, I began to devour it. After a particularly heavy spiritual attack one night (I was seeing demons manifest themselves outside my bedroom window) I cried out to God for several hours in prayer. I awoke the next morning with the word “Ephesians” on my heart and I began the process of learning who I was in Christ. Slowly my mind became clear. I was still being tormented but I was finally able to function mentally. I believe this was the Holy Spirit showing me how to renew my mind. I stopped seeing spirits and I began to attend church and I felt like my battle was over for the most part.

Or so I thought.

I found a church that did outreach. They had sound doctrine and were really nice people. I shared with them the spiritual side of my journey and their response was one of disbelief. It was nothing like they had ever been through so they couldn’t relate it seemed. They never really talked about the spiritual realm to a level that I seemed to have lived through.

After that, I kept things to myself. I was still suffering. I had major depression. I still had a lot of anxiety and although the urge to end my life was no longer there, intrusive thoughts would come at random. Even on my good days where I truly felt blessed by God. The most common thought I had on a regular basis was a vision of me stabbing myself in my throat. I didn’t know why.

I was often questioned as to why I didn’t have the joy of the Lord and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t know that I was still in a battle. I would read the Bible, go to church, worship, pray, share the Gospel and yet I was still in chains. I wasn’t growing fast enough, praying hard enough, doing enough… These thoughts came into my mind and were echoed and pointed out by those around me.

As humans, even the best of us fall short. The enemy doesn’t fight fair and shortly after that I found myself isolated, completely rejected, and curled up in my closet sobbing from the depths of my heart begging God for mercy because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and when my first church family pushed me away, I thought God had abandoned me.

That I was a hopeless cause and a wasted effort.

Then I felt “John 6:37” in my heart.

“All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never turn away.”

I clung to this scripture, repeating it over and over to myself. I was in a state of desperation.

The next day, I got a message that told me to look into Hardcore Christianity.

Looking at the name, the thought came into my mind that this was where they send the toughest cases. The delinquents. The “rebellious individuals who refuse to surrender. A boot camp for the worst of the worst Christians who fail at being a Christian. Like when parents send their kids off to military school to “straighten them out”. I had no idea what to expect. Even after reading the information on the site I was still terrified. But I wanted so desperately to be fixed.

It was only after I watched a teaching by Mike Smith that I came to the full realization that I was still under attack. That all the thoughts I had were not my own. That there were still demons at work inside me and around me. That I wasn’t free. That they had been using both those around me and my own thoughts to skillfully orchestrate my destruction. That the images and thoughts I was having were not me but those of a completely separate entity inside me. Multiple ones at that.

It has been a process, dealing with the layers upon layers of spirits. One of the most important things is mind renewal. This is also a constant thing. An area that you can not, MUST NOT, become complacent in. Lack of mind renewal is like cracks in your armor. You MUST renew your mind and continue to do so. If you do not, the enemy will eat you up and spit you out. The demons will come back like bad relationships. You must get rid of your sin. Learn to hate your sin. Ask God to help you hate your sin.

Deliverance is a journey. The best news is that God is helping you through it. If you are born again, you have the Holy Spirit and you cannot lose.

If you suffer from anything like I have posted above, There is hope!!

Please contact mike@hardcorechristianity.com

https://hardcorechristianity.com/arizona-deliverance-center/

spiritual warfare

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